


Peanut Butter and Milk

by Hike777



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Brainwashing, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Female pronouns feel free to use others, Kidnapping, Mother Hen Steve Rogers, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Psychological Torture, SHIELD Agent Reader (Marvel), Tony Stark Has Issues, Torture, Violence, clint is a little shit, shy reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-08-13 10:30:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20172781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hike777/pseuds/Hike777
Summary: There's no better time to bond than at three in the morning over nightmares, existential crisis and a warm mug of peanut butter and milk...





	1. Chapter 1

You were an average agent, capable, and hard-working — the whole package wrapped with a little bit of sass and a quiet demeanor. Never did you questioned your orders, out loud that is. You carried them accordingly, which is why director Fury thought it best to" transfer" you to the avenger's compound. The promotion came with a vague congratulations and a measle handshake along with rules and specifics for this "mission." In theory, you were inconspicuously babysitting the group, while vouching for them and coming up with good if not plausible justifications for any or every disaster that knocked on the door. 

Sure the job at first wasn't all that glamorous. Just like the first day of school. It was more like starting over, getting to know them, their likes, dislikes, and preferences while managing everyone's appearances on the media and in front of Shield. After the initial awkwardness of three months, you had settled nicely. You were provided with a room within the compound, free access to mostly everything, and the opportunity to train and work with Earth's mightiest heroes. Then he came.

James Buchanan Barnes came from back from his journey of discovering himself. Everyone knew his history, and most were sympathetic and empathetic towards the old soldier. Of course, Tony still held a minor grudge for the obvious reasons, but he managed to tolerate his presence for a certain amount of time. 

You weren't on the menu of social life. Therefore, most of your relationship with everyone was a bit superficial still. This was also extended to the newly added super-soldier. Nobody judged you for being quiet around most of them, getting flustered by Tony's charm, being intimidated by the widow, feeling mocked by Clint and only getting huffs and nods from Bruce. The Captain was more forthcoming and tried to establish conversations by pointing out some minor things in your form and giving you advice on them. This only served to embarrass you further, no reason needed; he was a cinnamon roll but intimidating nonetheless. 

At some point, most of them started questioning your fighting attitude and were beginning to think you were more of a glorified secretary instead of an actual agent. You got spooked easy, even though you didn't make a sound when it happened, and you were intimidated easily, despite the fire you harbored inside. You kept your sass and sarcastic comments to your self, only responding in your mind to every and all advances. If they only knew. The supposed issue became a wager, and all of them tried to get a soldierly reaction out of you. Most attempts failed until one night you went to the kitchen for a midnight snack. The lights were mostly off except for the counters top one, which illuminated the way to the fridge. You knew most agents were either asleep or on missions, so the whole compound should be empty. Plus nobody, that you knew of, ever came for a midnight snack. You were about to open the fridge door when a hand touched your shoulder. Your eyes widened, breath hitched and stopped altogether. You reacted, grabbing your assailants hand, going under their arm and pushing their face unto the fridge. Lights switched on instantly, and some members close by rushed to see what the noise was all about. 

There he was...face planted hard against the cold stainless steel fridge. His hair fell on his face and obstructed the awed and smug expressions of his teammates. The fire within left as soon as it manifested and you let him go apologizing immediately and retiring to your room. You didn't chance a glance towards his face or the others. The embarrassment was too much that you walked away so fast and swiftly, Tony didn't have the chance to congratulate you when you were already out of sight. Guess who won the bet. 

"Damn" Falcon commented while grinning smugly towards Bucky's way, which in turn looked like the Winter Soldier all over. 

Hair draped over his face and eyes emotionless, he had been caught unprepared, and in all truth, it scared him he didn't react. "Shut up, Wilson," he grunted and left the kitchen. 

After that encounter, no one questioned your status as an agent or your reflexes for that matter. Everyone started opening more to you and seeing as you could pull your weight, they started inviting you along for more hardcore missions and training sessions. Soon you learned the team dynamics, their codes, what the tone of voice meant and which phrase was sarcastic. 

A year passed, and you were in the closed circle. You were more open and expressed yourself without the fear of being called out or something. Everything was finally going out smoothly. You even befriended Bucky, who turned out to be a fantastic friend. 

Your friendship, though, had a very rocky start. 

After your little midnight encounter, he took it upon himself to kill you with his glances multiple times. His body language around you was always tense, making the air feel awkward, and the way he addressed made you feel like dirt sometimes. Sparring always ended in unnecessary rage from his part; you didn't even finish the match when he would leave the gym probably cursing in Russian. You were left dumbfounded and questioning your actions most of the times. Steve would always find you at night sitting on the roof hugging your knees close to your chest, always in shorts and a simple shirt despite the biting cold. He would come with a blanket, sitting beside you and assuring you his best friend's behavior wasn't your fault. 

"He's just adjusting to people in general, and sometimes it tends to be a bit harder." Steve would reason with a warm smile.

"I understand, Mr. Rogers." you would always respond with a smile of your own. 

One very late night, you were on your way to the roof after another episode with Barnes, when you caught him sitting outside on the grass. It was a peculiar and private sight, and you felt the need to leave the man alone. But something akin to guilt ate at you, and you went down to the kitchen. After Bucky felt at ease, he entered through the kitchen scrunching his brows in confusion at the lights on and the sweet, warm smell in the air. He approached the island counter with assassin stealth only to see you in front of the stove stirring something in a small pot. 

"When I was a little kid, and I was feeling sad," your voice startled him, yet he remained hidden in the shadows. "My mama would make this recipe" you lightly chuckled as if remembering such nights and your face light up in warmness; you looked cozy.

You started serving two mugs, and he felt the need to escape but was equally curious to see where you were headed. "I hope you like it, she learned it from my grandmama. Fussy old lady, but she was a quiet and kind woman." he could've sworn a silent tear rolled down your cheek.

You placed the mug on the island counter and looked at him. He was hidden in the shadows, and yet you saw him. Bucky came out of the darkness and into the dimly lit counter, he grabbed a stool and sat down all the while looking at you very serious. You smiled at him and nodded as he sips from the mug suspiciously, eyes still on you. When the liquid hit his taste buds, his eyes lighted up. 

"Its peanut butter with milk," you replied and started walking away giving him some privacy. 

"Your grandmother..." you stopped abruptly at the mention, your shoulders tensed a bit in the darkness of the hall "Can you tell me about her?" the plea sounded so innocent you couldn't help but comply. 

You turned slowly, your eyes focused on his icy blue ones. He needed to focus on something other than his thoughts. You offered a shy chuckled and sat down on a table near his stool. 

"She was a strong woman, fearless and yet so small and fragile. You would look at her, and you would never think she was so brave. I remember this one time..." you told him many stories and made him chuckle and smile with you, he did notice some tears slipping but never commented on it or interrupted you. You were so alive, so open and expressive; it made him forget his nightly woes.


	2. Chapter 2

After that night, he looked at you differently. He has had a glance into a tiny yet monumental piece of you, and it was tender and warm. He wanted more. So every moment he spent with you, he made it count and little by little, the two of you started bonding. Bucky cared deeply for you, always reminding you to drink or eat, pushing you to sleep after once finding you awake still making reports with three cups of coffee. He doesn't say it out loud, but whenever you do something reckless in the field, he gets mad, and instead of telling you he runs off to his room in angst and anger. You ignored him every time he pulled the same trick. Of course, he was a friend but so were the others, and none of them got angry with you for saving their lives at the expense of yours. The most you would get would be a talk from the Captain or at most a fatherly comment from Tony. Eventually, you would always wait for him at night, so he could tell you reprimand you over a cup of peanut butter and milk. 

"Don't do that again, I will ask Steve to get you off the team for a month" he threatened while he sipped his drink.

"Yes, sarge, whatever you say."

"Don't you sass me, young lady, M' older" he said as a matter factly which made you giggle, and he chuckled lightly.

Steve had been perplexed at your relationship. Bucky seemed to be wary of many agents and sometimes his own teammates as well, but with you, he was like his old self. Your friendship was something he knew Bucky relished dearly, sometimes when he came in a horrible mood after an awful mission, Steve could tell Bucky couldn't wait to be with you, to hear your jokes and laugh at your comments. It was like some kind of miracle watching you making him smile. 

One time he watched him storm off the quinjet in the direction of the compound. He disappeared after that, nobody saw him for the whole day until Steve came by your room's hall. He was casually strolling and at the same time curious to prove his theory. Your door had been slightly ajar, and he caught sight of your form sitting on the bed with a laptop on your knees. You were typing something, but why the heck the device was so far from you? You breathed deeply and started scrolling while your other hand went to stroke something on your lap. 

"You look silly concentrating" the comment came out of nowhere, and it brought a pouty smile to your lips. You looked down to your lap, and that's when Steve understood what, or, who was on your lap. It was Bucky. 

"And you look like a sick puppy, but you don't see me complaining," he chuckled " Now hush, I'm almost done." 

"Can we watch a movie or som'thin?" He sounded like a little kid with the Brooklyn accent that made Steve's heart soar, it was a sign that he remembered his old self. 

"Sure, whatever you want, pick one." 

Steve saw the scene unfold, and it made him so happy. He tiptoed away from you guys. Your friendship became evident to everyone, and it was bound to elicit some comments from the others. Especially from Falcon who didn't seem to leave Bucky alone, teasing him until he or Steve would throw him off. For your end, it was mostly Clint and Tony. 

"So, when's the wedding?" Tony asked you while you were surveying some of his tech and making some reports. Nobody said it out loud about how grateful they were for the things you kept under the table and out of the radar from SHIELD and everyone else.

"What wedding?" you asked with a small laugh.

"Well, yours and Frosty's" your eyebrows scrunched in confusion, and then you caught the joke which made your cheeks flare red at the thought. "Been thinking of making a very modern multifaceted waffle maker as a wedding gift, maybe a modern baby crib." 

You exploded and grabbed a wrench throwing it at him. He avoided it with a laugh and exited the room.

"I can tell children are not a thought at the moment, perhaps later." 

The two were little terrors never leaving you alone until Natasha would hit them in the back of the head disapprovingly. 

The teasing and jokes actually did something. They made Bucky realize how much you meant to him, it brought to light everything you have done for him, all the little details you did for him. Like making sure no one was in the gym when it was one of those days when he was feeling extremely anxious or self-conscious. The times you made sure his favorite snacks and drinks were stocked, when you came from the store and brought a little something just because it reminded you of him or those moments he simply wanted to be with you, and you didn't question him or pried the info out. He would simply knock at your door, come into your room and lay down on the bed if you were working there, or sit near your desk. All just to be close to you. Small acts of kindness had led him to fall in love with you. You had been tested in many aspects and always came through, surely this is what relationships were all about. The thought brought a smile.

You considered what Tony had joked about in the lab, your mind pondering on the subject for hours on end. As an agent, you had been trained for different scenarios, but in life, no one actually trained you to fall in love. You were new to the subject in some ways, and the fact made you felt guilty for thinking about Bucky that way and self-conscious. You peeked a glance at yourself in the mirror, surely Bucky would never think of me as something more than just a friend, right? You scrutinized your frame: no curves or too much of them, fit or not fit enough, your boobs maybe were not big enough or perhaps too big? Did you had an ass or was there too much also? The argument just left you on the floor, confused and sad. Maybe that's all you'll ever be in his eyes, an outlet, someone he could dump all his insecurities and strifes just so he can be happy for others. The thought made you feel satisfied that you were somewhat important to him, but at the same time, it brought yo down. A tear slipped down your cheek, and you gasped at the feeling. 

"Miss (Y/L/N), Tony is requesting your presence at the strategy room. There's an upcoming mission for you. Should I tell him you are indisposed?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. suddenly chirped through the room, startling you a bit.

"No-no, tell him I'm on my way." 

"Understood" You stood up from your sitting position in front of the mirror, wiped your tears and fix your uniform with fake confidence.


	3. Chapter 3

You made your way to the room, your mind in a bit of a frenzy overthinking a lot of things surrounding the previously discussed theme. You didn't notice Bucky was beside you with a tiny smug smirk, he had been fighting his own demons too. The man had a lot of insecurities as well, and a while of groaning and protesting with himself, F.R.I.D.A.Y. interrupted his train of thought. There was a mission for him. When he saw you walking towards the same room, he got all giddy and confident, knowing that probably it was going to be the two of you in a mission. It was the perfect excuse to have you alone and talk about his feelings with you. Then he noticed your spaced-out expression.

"Hey doll, are you alright?" he asked, concerned, you shook your head and looked at him with a questioning look.

"Yeah, yeah just some things in my mind." Bucky grabbed your forearms gently.

"You know you can always talk to me, right?" his hair had been in a bun, and it showed his feature in greater detail. Had he always been this handsome? 

"I-" 

"Hey Lovebirds, are you coming in? There's something more important than wedding planning." Tony's voice interrupted through the intercom, and while Bucky glared at the voice's general direction, your lips sealed swallowing the confession with a small chuckle.

"I guess it can wait, come on." 

The two of you made your way to the room. Tony, Steve, and Natasha were already there leaning over the lit table projecting the Earth, and some other gibberish about coordinates and such you didn't quite catch. 

"Okay," Tony clasp his hands in front of himself "Here's the scoop..."

He explained the mission details: infiltrate an old Hydra base in Siberia, gather as much intel as possible and do not engage if there were to be threats. The base has been offline for a long, long while, and out of nowhere, it had shown little signs of life. The thought of the organization coming back to life entirely made Bucky's skin crawl. The memories flooded his mind and left as fast as they came when your hand had squeezed his shoulder gently. 

"So pack your winter gear, cause it's gonna be frosty." your eyes squinted at Tony's choice of word, and in return, he only smiled. Then with a sense of urgency, he glanced at a non-existent watch, "Oh, and you leave pretty soon." You rolled your eyes. 

You went back to your room to pack your gear and weapons. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," you called not bothering to look up from the backpack. 

Steve came in.

"Bucky's worried" your movements halted all together before they continued. "He asked me to bench you for this mission" you turned abruptly, and the fiery look in your eyes instantly made Steve answer "I didn't-I didn't it's just. I wanted to make sure I'm not going to regret it." 

You signed deeply, " You won't." you slung the backpack on your shoulder and looked him in the eyes. 

He nodded, and you went by him with a pat on his shoulder as a farewell. 

You met Bucky in the quinjet, he was sitting his legs anxiously moving as he waited. The sight made you smile. 

"Are you nervous?" you called as you closed the ramp and placed your bag unto one of the chairs. He glanced at you, and your smile made him smile. "Don't be we'll be back to drink peanut butter and milk in no time, you'll see" you replied as you walked towards the pilot seat with him behind you. 

"I'll hold you to that promise." he sat down in the copilot's seat and strapped in. 

The whole trip was silent, but not awkward or tense, at least not from your part. You could tell Bucky was a bit tense. When you arrived, you parked the ride far from the base's location. You were turning off everything and punching some security codes when Bucky's hand shot out to grasp yours. 

"Hey, hey, it's alright."

"I know it's just...I have to tell you something." your heart hammered in your chest almost like it wanted to get through it. His eyes met yours, and he looked hurt. You kneeled in front of him and smiled warmly, squeezing his hand.

"We're coming back, Buck, so how about we build up the suspense, and you tell me when I'm patching you up for being a dummy." he smirked at the comment.

"Whatever you say, doll. Though, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be me patchin' you up." he followed you out of the cockpit and into the small hangar. You strapped all your weapons on you and pushed the button opening the ramp. 

"Yeah, sure." 

"Don't sass me, young lady" you chuckled and the both of you went through the winter wasteland.

Everything was white everywhere you looked, thank goodness for the night. You were wearing thick white fluffy coats, pants, and gloves to camouflage and protect you from the harsh environment, but beneath all that were your tactical clothes. The googles were enhanced with night vision and something akin to Tony's glasses technology. He made them after all. The wind was biting, hitting both of you with a strong force.

"I have a feeling that if I don't hold you down, the wind is gonna blow you away," you heard through the comm in your ear. 

"Har har, Barnes" you checked the location device and transferred the pinging location to your glasses " We're closing in, get ready." 

"Copy that, sure you don't want me to hold you?" you punched his shoulder.

"Shut up, Barnes," he laughed, and it made you smile. 

Suddenly the moment was interrupted by the sound of a small jet similar to the quinjet, passing over the two of you. 

"Get down." you both lowered on the ground mixing yourselves with all the white. 

The jet was gone, "Guess we're not alone out here, come on." You both awkwardly ran through the snow as fast as it permitted you until you reached a small hill.

The base wasn't activated per se, but the spotlights outside and the security detail told you there was something valuable inside. You two made a quick plan to infiltrate the premises stealthily. Once inside, you hid the winter gear and went full-on stealth, radio silence, and everything. Bucky didn't like the idea of separating, but it was faster that way, and besides, he trusted you were a more than capable agent. 

You kept to the air ducts since your frame was smaller than Bucky's. In your wrist was the map of the facility and you went to the essential offices first, you had the feeling that's where the juicy gossip was going to be. 

Bucky saw your little dot move to the offices, and silently he cursed after this was over and he confessed he was going to tie you to the bed. You were reckless but brave. He kept going until he came to a halt, quickly getting inside one of the available rooms. In it, he found huge cylindrical glass containers with a bluish liquid bubbling inside. His hand went to wipe some frost gathered on the surface and gasped as he saw a baby hooked to cables and such. Looking down the hall, he saw all the containers and walked fast, with his gun resting on his shoulder. At the other end, he found some monitors and papers, files and pictures, sonograms and such. His breath hitched when he gathered the words, super-soldier serum, and clones. He was sure he was going to hyperventilate, but no time to waste as he gathered the files just in time to hear the doors opening and people coming in. He counted the steps and deduced there were two individuals in the room with him. He got his gun ready. But the persons passed him by chatting in Russian about their work and the long hours in the cold. He ran by unannounced and left the room quickly, leaving the two scientists a bit baffled at the door opening on its own. 

You on the other side of the complex were recording all the critical conversations, translating them and saving them for later. That is until on one of them someone mentioned the Winter Soldier, your blood froze. Paying close attention to the man in question, he clicked a button, and the projector showed various photos and clips of a reformed Bucky during missions and even inside the compound. You were in some of them, that made your heartbeat escalate, your eyes widened, and you strained your ears to listen further. 

"Project Songbird is being developed and shows promising results, soon we'll have the perfect pair in the battlefield, and without the interruption of SHIELD, our advances are ten times faster." The news were horrifying, indeed. "Not to mention we already have the two subjects at the complex" The projection then turned to the camera feed, and you saw Bucky rounding the corner and avoiding the coming guards. 

"Isn't that right, little sparrow? " The tone was teasing, and the man was looking straight at the air duct, you held your breath and willed your heart to still. Suddenly he pulled a handgun and shot multiple times at the duct. For a moment, everything went still, and blood spilled through one of the bullet holes.

Bucky heard the gunshots, and his blood froze, goosebumps littered his skin as his breath escalated. 

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)! Come in." he whispered yelled through the comms "Come on, doll," he muttered to himself. Suddenly there was a thump behind him, and he pointed his gun at the noise but sighed in relief seeing you crouch on the floor. "Are you alright? I heard the shots." Your head was lowered, not meeting his eyes as you continued to squat on the floor. He kneeled beside you and grabbed your arm to help you stand. 

You whimpered, he stopped and glanced underneath your doubled over form. A couple of blood droplets fell to the floor, and then you stumbled a bit, but he caught you in time and dragged yo towards the nearest room. It was a boiler room, filled with pipes and spare things but no one in sight. 

He came by you, took off his vest, and folded it, placing it underneath your head as he lay you down. His hands went down to strip your own vest and assess the damage. 

"It's nothing, Buck, just a bullet," your voice came breathless, your skin already had a thin sheet of cold sweat. His expression was stern and serious, if you didn't know him, you would've thought he was just stripping your weapons and leaving you behind "They know-They know we're here." 

You grunted as he cut half of your shirt, pressed the wound, and tied the remainder of it around your torso. Thankfully it didn't hit anywhere important, but you were losing blood quickly, and that wasn't a good sign. When he was done, he looked you in the eyes and the blue ice storm in his melted away to reveal how scared he is. You lifted your hand to grab his, and he took it eagerly enclosing it withing both of his hands and lifting it to his lips. He inhaled deeply and kissed your hand, putting his forehead on it. 

"You have to go, Bucky," you whispered, and his blue eyes flared at the request. He shook his head "You have to, they're coming, they want you, Buck, not me" He kept shaking his head in denial "I'll hold them off, but you have to leave, take the info to Tony and bring them down. Please" you whimpered at the end, tears pooling at your sides as you spoke. Your voice was cracking ever so slightly as you told him.

"No, I'm not leaving you. We're coming back, remember you promised." you chuckled, and it turned into a slight cough.

"I'm sorry, I give you permission to make Ma's recipe. You're an honorary member of the family" you smiled sadly yet proud of him and hi returned it. Lowering his forehead unto yours in a loving manner.

"Don't you get it, dummy, you have to come back because-because I haven't told you something important" His voice got caught in his throat as he spoke, he lifted his face and glanced at you, his hand caressing your cheek lovingly. "I love you, and I need you." 

You plain out started to cry, closing your eyes as tears streamed down your sides and into your hair. 

"I love you too, dummy." he chuckled tears streaming down his own eyes as he looked at you.


	4. Chapter 4

He picked you up and hugged your frame, careful not to hurt you even more. "We're getting out of here" he muttered into your hair. 

"Buck, I-"

"No, we're leaving together" He picked you up helping you stand, placed his vest on once more, and zipped yours with care and cocked his gun. 

You reached for yours, made sure it was good to go, and he piggybacks you. 

"I'm embarrassed." he didn't answer, but you caught his confused head movement "The bad guys are going to see you carry me like a baby koala" he grinned smugly at the picture. 

"Well, at least we'll try to kill them all before they can see the picture." Bucky pushed the door open slowly. 

"I'd like that," you mumbled.

"Стоп!" The shout caught both of your attention. "My ikh nashli. Ozhidaniye prodolzheniya zakazov." Bucky glanced at the three soldiers posied to shoot. Suddenly you shot the one speaking into his radio, straight headshot. Bucky finished the rest. The movement made you grunt, but you gritted your teeth to stop the sounds of pain from escaping your mouth. (Stop! We found them. Waiting for orders to continue)

The two of you came to an opening, you knew this was bad, openings meant opportunities for ambushes. It's precisely what happened. 

"Стоп! Ne dvigaysya, soldat! Brosay oruzhiye seychas zhe!" Soldiers flooded your surroundings, and Bucky grunted in anger, he should've seen it coming. He muttered a curse as he assessed the situation and located the nearest exit and the best course of action. That's the moment you saw a bit of despair in his eyes. (Stop! Do not move, soldier! Drop your weapons now!)

"Brosay oruzhiye seychas zhe, soldat!" (Drop your weapons now, soldier!)

"Doll," he whispered, "Give me your gun" you did as he said and handed the gun over.

Bucky then dropped both of the guns and slid them across the room. He helped you stand beside him, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close. The echo of someone clapping slowly resounded through the room. You both looked up towards a platform with railings on the second floor. The man who had previously shot you stepped into the light with two other individuals you quite didn't recognize. On the other hand, Bucky seemed to know who one of them was. 

"Evening, Soldat, it's been a while." the man's voice was annoying, thick with accent, his stature was small and chubby with beady creepy eyes behind round-rimmed glasses. His stance reeked of proudness and the way he licked his lips when he saw the both of you, made your skin crawl. 

"Who the fuck are you?" you whispered with hatred. Bucky simply grunted in response.

"I hope your trip was a pleasant one, It sure is 'freezing' at this season." the way he mentioned freezing Bucky's eyes widened very slightly, the action almost unnoticeable. The man then looked at you and smiled with such gladness your stomach did somersaults, your body tensed, and your hands turned to fists. "Ah, Miss (L/N), so nice to finally meet you."

You and Bucky shared a look. 'What does that mean?'

"We've been watching the Avengers for a while and must I say, you handle their public image quite well. Perhaps you could do the same for us, besides the Soldat would need someone to help his public image after all." 

"Who even are you?" you asked a hiss escaping at the same time. Your knees faltered a bit, and Bucky held you impossibly closer, which made your eyebrows scrunched up in pain. 

"Oh, of course, how rude of me, I am Doctor Hugo Ivan Ivanov, God's grace. Now if you would kindly return the stolen files, we'll be on our way." you hide the bracelet pretending to clutch your wound. 

"Go to hell." The man smiled widely, so wicked and glad that he looked like a cartoon mad scientist villain. 

"Very well, then. Voz'mi braslet" he then proceeded to move out of your sight and continued "I postaraysya ne navredit' im, mnogo" (Take the Bracelet. Try not to harm them, much)

The individuals near the doctor left except for one, who seemed to be the one Bucky recognized. 

The soldier surrounding you both started closing in. You moved behind Bucky, and you two pressed your backs together, preparing to fight off anyone who got too close to your established perimeter. 

"I'll take the ones on your right, and you take the ones on my left?" you asked a bit out of breath. 

"I don't think that's how this is going to go, doll" he muttered mostly angered, but not with you. 

"Voz'mi veshch'!" the man above yelled, and one of the soldiers pulled some handcuffs, and the one in front of you walked with intent, looking at your wrist. 

Swiftly the building rocked, and the sound of a muted explosion resounded through the room. The soldiers held their post as dust, and little pieces of debris fell around everyone. Suddenly The Clash song, Should I stay or Should I go, started loudly playing through the intercoms. 

"Tony," you whispered.

"Good to know you're still alive, kid" his voice came through your comms as the lights died. "Hang on tight, I'm giving you some cover." 

"Nochnoye videniye, seychas! Ne day im sbezhat'!" the soldiers proceeded to wear their night vision goggles just in time to see Bucky's fist collide with their faces. (Night Vision, Now! Do not let them escape!) 

Your fist collided with one of the nearest guards as Buky created an opening and pushed you through.

"I'm right behind you," he said, urging you forward. You nodded absentmindedly and proceeded to sprint clutching your side. The music kept playing through the speakers as you went by. 

From afar with his own night vision embedded in his mask, the man on the second floor locked his eyes on you. He scanned your form, setting you apart from the rest of the green masses moving around. The man proceeded to run after you. 

You managed to avoid the blows coming your way, it was all a big game of American football, you were the runner with the ball in your hands trying to evade being tackled unto the ground. Bucky was hot on your heels, he continued to punch and push away the hands that did their best to grasp you. You went up to the stairs and stopped at the top for a second to catch your breath. There was a ringing in your ears, you could hear your breathing, your legs burned and your side hurt, but you had to keep going. Just as you were walking fast, grabbing onto the railing for support, a figure landed right in front of you. You gasped and stepped back a bit. 

"Give me the files, little Sparrow," he grunted, his voice hoarse and gruff, yet the accent was unmistakable. 

You kept walking backward, Bucky at the end of the stairs fighting off the remaining soldiers with one of the weapons of their dead comrades. The man then kicked you squared in the chest, you fell hard on the floor with a pained groan. You heard the swish of a knife and your eyes focused on the glinting metal approaching you. His foot stepped on your wrist, disabling it. You yelped at the crushing feeling, and with your free hand, you retrieved your own hidden knife and stabbed his leg. The man roared in pain, and his moment of pain allowed you to kick him, giving you some space between both of you.

"You little bi-" you heard him say through gritted teeth, but the whine from Tony's suit interrupted him. 

"Language," Tony then turned to you, "Looking a little pale there, kid." 

"Yeah, I-I'm fine," then your head limply fell to the side. 

"FRIDAY?" 

"Miss (Y/N) has lost a substantial amount of blood. She requires medical attention urgently." Tony was looking at your body, scanning it and receiving the diagnostics of every cut and bruise. 

"Barnes!" he yelled, standing at the top of the stairs and proceeding to shoot the remaining guards. "(Y/N)'s not doing well." he said when there was silence. 

Bucky climbed the stairs double-time to receive Tony's glare with a glint of worry. He passed him by and ran to you. 

"She's out, we have to hurry." he grabs you and carries you gently. 

"For once we agree on something." Tony's mask closed, and he proceeded to guide Bucky through the compound. 

On their way, they met up with Steve, who ran alongside his best friend. He chanced a look at your limp body in his embrace; you weren't looking good. His brow scrunched up in worry as he then looked at Bucky, who in turn was determined and looked eerily similar to the winter soldier carrying out a mission. 

Suddenly there was another explosion and another that erupted from the wall in front of them. The four of you fell on the floor from the blast. Fire littered the surroundings, water came from a broken pipe above them, and the big pieces of debris blocked the path entirely. Steve emerged from under some of the big cement chunks, he was dirty, full of dust and cut oozing some blood. 

"Buck, Tony" he panted, locking his shield on his back and looking through the rubble. 

Something akin to Tony's whirring gloves exploded nearby, and his figure emerged from the rubble. 

"That was something" he hissed "Signal decreasing, power levels almost non-existent..." he muttered to himself and transmitted all the statistics and FRIDAY's link to the bracelet on his wrist. He then exited his suit carrying with him the gloves and it crumbled into a heap of spare parts and nothing coherent. 

"So that's how she called us" Tony nodded and scanned the rubble for the two of you. 

"This is very bad. They're there." Steve moved the massive piece of the wall to reveal Bucky's form holding on to a cement rod that almost gave way. His knuckles were bloody, the liquid seeping through his fingerless gloves. 

He grunted, trying his best to hold on to your limp form hanging from his hand. 

"Stark, you have five minutes to exit the building before it explodes" Natasha's voice came through, breaking the struggling noises from Bucky and Steve. 

"Go it."

Bucky struggled to offer your hand to Steve, he groaned as he raised you. Steve had your hand in his and lifted you, handing you to Tony. He then helped Buky up. Tony scanned you once more, sweat rolling down his temples and forehead, almost stinging his eyes. 

"We have to hurry" his tone was grave and left no room for objection, not that the two soldiers were going to. 

Bucky had you once more, and Tony blasted the rubble blocking the way. But on the other side, there was more rubble.

"Yeah, I don't have enough power for that." 

"How about the ceiling."

"Three minutes, Mr. Stark" FRIDAY's voice cut in. 

"Stand back" he blasted a hole in the ceiling. Steve climbed up and helped Tony, who continued to blast the next roof. Steve got your body, and Bucky climbed up taking you from his arms. The actions were almost mechanical. Tony kept blasting the roofs, Steve helped him, carried your body, Bucky climbed up and then held you once more. The process repeating until they were out. 

The night sky was a relieve, the cold air blasted away the scorching heat and soothed their cuts. Once more, Steve helped Tony up and proceeded to grasp you. 

"Romanov, we're out."

"Coming your way, be ready."

"One minute, Mr. Stark." 

"FRIDAY you're stressing me out." 

"Sorry, sir." 

Steve had you in his arms as Bucky climbed out of the uneven hole. 

"Need some help, buddy?" Bucky's face turned into confusion as he looked at his metal arm. It made a whirring sound as the plates gritted against each other, bringing some discomfort.

"It's like it's getting stuck, it's the cement dust." he tried to roll his wrist, but it didn't go smoothly. 

"I'll fix it later, frosty, come on." Tony quipped from the outside, he looked up through the haze from the impending snowstorm. 

Bucky rolled his eyes and grabbed Steve's offering hand and was raised upwards. He then looked for your body. But you weren't where Steve placed you. His eyes went to Tony, but the man looked as surprised as he did and that angered him. 

"Where is she, Stark?" Bucky questioned, rage and fear bubbling an threatening to spill. 

"She was unconscious, she couldn't have woken up," Tony remarked as he scanned the snow.

"(Y/N)?" Steve called.

"So that's the little songbird's name" a rough voice answered, and all their eyes turned to look at your limp body draped over the man's shoulder.

The quinjet arrived, hovering above the trio as a rope ladder was thrown. 

"Steve, whatever you're doing do it fast, the countdown is down to seconds now." Natasha's voice came through comms, interrupting the tense scene.

"Rumlow, let her go, the building is about to blow, give it up." Brock laughed, and it sounded ghastly and rough as he drops your body unceremoniously on the snow. They then noticed a rope tied to his waist.

"Brock!" Bucky screamed as another jet came into view behind him, the man grabbed your hand and let jump over the ledge of the snowy roof.

Steve ran towards you, but the building started rocking, the force pushing the trio backward. 

"Guys you have to come on board we're catch up to them." The men reluctantly climbed the rope and made it inside. 

The quinjet sped through as the compound behind them exploded, the red fire contrasting the white snow all around it. 

"Nat, you have to catch up, you have-" Bucky panted holding the back of Natasha's seat. 

"It's alright we'll get them," she reassured. But by the time they were in open skies, the Hydra jet was nowhere in sight. 

You had slipped through his fingers. He had you and now you were gone.


	5. Chapter 5

"'m fine, Tony," you mumbled a reply, your voice scratchy and coarse.

There was a constant beeping nearby, it made your headache pound in accordance with the rhythm of the machine. Your eyes opened slightly, squinting at the lights above you; they were too bright for comfort. You didn't quite remember what happened before Tony had answered. The only reminder that it was all real and not a crazy dream was the burning sensation of a wound on your side. Dizziness overcame you, and you felt the urge to puke, but tried to ignore it as much as you could. With your eyes closed, you couldn't tell if there was someone else inside the room with you, but at the moment you couldn't care. The headache was increasing, and so was the beeping. 

"Tony?" you whispered and even that tiny breeze of a name cause you pain. 

You whimpered, and the headache kept increasing to the point you felt your head was going to explode. No way you could stay there anymore. You turned on your side with effort, planted your feet on the cold tiles, and held onto the bed for support. Just like you thought your knees buckled but you held tightly onto the bed and it helped you give a couple of steps until there was no more bed to cling onto. Your eyes remained closed as the lights hurt them, and that made the headache even worse.

"Come on," you whimpered the encouragement as you attempted to walk towards a nearby wall. 

But your hands never met the surface of the wall, and you fell to the ground. At this point, the ache was debilitating, making you curl in on your self, holding your head between your hands. You added pressure to try and relive some, but it only got worse and worse. Unable to stand the pain you screamed loudly making the windows break, the machinery burst and the furniture surrounding you disperse. You cried until you couldn't anymore.

The ache was leaving little by little, the numbness started to settle in from the tip of your toes spreading to the top of your head. The door opened, but you didn't care in your state, just like you didn't mind the doctor holding you or the trail of blood dripping from your nose and ears or the redness in your eyes from burst capillaries. 

"Wonderful, little sparrow, you did great, dear" you whined quietly as the person embraced you, holding your upper body and caressing your hair as if you were a hurting child. 

You felt the prick of a needle in your arm and then darkness with mumbling voices that sounded excited and jumbled all together. 

The next time you woke up, it was a little better. There was no headache, you could open your eyes with a small hiss, but the expected pain didn't come. The blurriness slowly left as you took in your surroundings. The room was simple, yet looked a bit too simple for being from the compound. The mint-colored wallpaper on the wall was chipped, the bed was rickety with thin bedsheets and an uncomfortable mattress. There was only one wooden chair at the far end of the bed and nothing else, no carpets or anything else that depicted life in the room, especially no windows. The view of manhattan you would always get when in Medbay wasn't there anymore. 

"Shit" you muttered, this wasn't the tower, and that could only mean one thing, you had been captured.

The machinery was old, something that Tony considered unacceptable in his compound and it was a dead giveaway that this wasn't home. 

Suddenly the door opened, but you didn't sit upright to meet the person. The squeaking of a wheelchair resounded in the room, and it stopped right beside the bed. The doctor came into view, Dr. Hugo Ivan Ivanov, the beady-eyed creep with the cartoony villainous smile. 

"Wake up, little sparrow, you have been sleeping for some time now," your head turned slightly towards him, and you saw the wheelchair in your peripheral view. "We have a long day ahead for us."

"How long have I been asleep?" you asked, avoiding the visible excitement in the man's face. 

"Seven days now." the nurse helped you into a sitting position, and you noticed your tactical clothing was missing, replaced by a soft hospital gown. 

You eyed the man with a confused expression who in turn smiled at you like everything was a success. The nurse helped you into the wheelchair, the three of you proceeded into a hallway. The place looked like an underground medical facility, but you knew better than to believe the facade. 

"You were severely injured, little sparrow, there had to be a blood transfusion. We took the liberty of eliminating your clothes to better help our efforts." 

"Efforts?" your voice was laced with disgust. 

"You'll see in a moment." 

The nurse continued to wheel you down the hall, the occasional door passed you by until the three of you stopped in front of one. The nurse opened the door, and the man wheeled you inside. Your heart skipped a beat at the inside of the room. Your mind had already brought forth the mental training for torture, but the machinery was somewhat familiar to the winter soldier program, and it made your blood freeze. 

There was a gurney in the middle of the room with medical spotlights above it. A big mechanical arm-like machine was positioned near the stretcher along with a small table with medical tools. The top of the device was circular, almost like the spotlight itself, but it was hollow instead of having something inside the circle. Several monitors displaying different simulations littered the place, cables scrambled around the floor, but the way to the table was oddly and symbolically clear, just for you. Dread settled when you saw the man that brought you in like a sic souvenir, he stood arms crossed across his chest near one of the monitors. He didn't need to remove his mask for you to know he was savoring your reactions like they were a delicious drink. 

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen." you quirked as the wheelchair came to a stop in front of a metal gurney. 

There was a loud and unexpected clap that made you jump.

"We'll continue the process and see how far we go, we can administer phase two if it is successful." 

"Phase two? Continue?" you whispered to yourself as guards grabbed your forearms, forcing you to stand up. 

Anxiety bubbled at the realization that this wasn't the first time you had gone through this process. They had done something to you, and suddenly you felt disgusted with yourself. You started to struggle in their arms as they directed you to the gurney. 

"Derzhat' yeye!" (Hold her!) 

Your hand swung out of the guard's hand elbowing the man in the face, breaking his helmet in. The second one attempted to grab your free hand as his partner writhed on the floor. From the corner of your eye, you could see Brock eager to catch you once more, almost salivating at the opportunity, but the doctor stopped him. 

It felt like a show, every eye was trained on you as you battled the soldier, knocking him down successfully. Another guard appeared grabbing your waist and lifting you up. You kicked your feet, your head reeled forward and then crashed backward, making the soldier's hold loosened enough for you to get away. You watched the guard slowly, calculating almost as he regained his balance. (H/C) hair falling in front of you, giving you a lunatic kind of look, you panted but were ready to keep fighting. The guard came at you once more, and you went to meet him, but instead received a shock that made you kneel on the ground. Brock was joining the fight now. He shocks you once more, keeping the voltage high eliciting a shriek, and in unison, the lights flickered until the pain stopped. You curled on the floor and Brock grabbed you, hurling your form on the table.

"That was an exciting test, wasn't it?" the doctor spoke while Brock strapped you to the table. Hugo's voice filled with happiness and giddiness. 

Your head was spinning, and it felt like a hammer pounded inside of your skull incessantly. Something was trickling down your nose, but the sensation was lost to the pain of your cramping muscles. You whimpered when Hugo's finger cleaned the liquid from under your nose and brought it to the light. He looked at the drop of dense blood now going down his finger, like it was the answer. 

"Did you saw that, little sparrow. It worked," he then presented the blood to you as proof.

"(Y/N)...M' name's (Y/N)" 

"Not for long. Now let's begin. Podsoyedinite igly k mashine. Pust' syvorotka techet." (Hook up the needles to the machine. Let the serum flow.) 

The scientists scurried around upon hearing the orders, frantically hooked several needles to the machine near the table, after filling them with some sort of bluish liquid. You were out of it, but still watching everything going on. Whimpers escaped your lips as you tried your best to struggle out of the tight bonds. 

"Wh-what's that?" your voice croaked. 

"This is a serum developed to seize the individual's neuropathways. You see since the Soldat left us, Hydra has been particularly creative in creating the new generation of the perfect...army. Attempting to replicate the super-soldier serum was thinking too small. Variety, now that sounds more appealing. Look at what you can do, the Soldat could never do that nor the other two experiments that were within our grasp." You couldn't remember what you could even do, only that it hurt "Now I'm told it can be excruciating if you resist, I suggest you relax. It is nonetheless a fascinating piece of work, and you'll be the first one to experience it." 

A bolt of panic shot through you, flight or fight instinct kicked in and all the training you had, went flying out the window. Your hands shook the restraints viciously. The doctor left your line of sight and was replaced by Brock who seized your jaw tightly and applied pressure to force it open. There was a mouthguard in his hand, and he attempted to push it past your lips. 

"Net" Brock's actions halted, and he glances the doctor's way, there was a smug smile on his lips " ya khochu uslyshat' yeye kriki" Brock smirked to himself as he let you go. Your breathing and heartbeat were off the roof, your head was spinning due to your breathing pattern. (No, I want to hear her screams).

Once everyone and everything was prepared and ready, the doctor glanced at the monitor and then at your trembling form with a smile "Nachinat'" (Commence)

The machine lowered swiftly to your head, once you were almost engulfed inside it, the needles approached your temples and the location of your frontal lobe. You rapidly inhaled and exhaled through your nose, tears finally escaped your eyes falling down your sides and getting lost in your hair. You didn't felt the prick of the needles until they continued deeper inside your head. 

Screams came, but you didn't know if they were yours, they seemed far away, almost echoes in your mind. Coldness seeped through your head, coating your brain and everything in its path, the feeling was something akin to a severe brain freeze. It was a chill so cold it burned your skin and muscles, getting as far as your bones. As soon as the feeling erupted through you, it was gone, nothingness settled in, there wasn't a single thought running through the lane of your mind. 

"Vorobey, kak ty sebya chuvstvuyesh'?" (Sparrow, how are you feeling?) a voice asked, and you felt the urge to reply, but couldn't quite understand the question. "Little Sparrow, how do you feel?" 

"Fine," the reply fluttered out of your lips, it felt so wrong and alien. It wasn't you. 

"Check the vitals progress." 

"Everything seems to be in order, vitals normal, breathing has returned to normal. The subject appears completely relax." 

"Good. Let her go, let's test her compliance." Two soldiers unhooked your arms and feet from the shackles, yet you didn't move.

"Sparrow, sit upright." your body moved slowly but swift as you sat on the gurney, holding the border for support. 

"Subject seems compliant for now" Hugo approached your form, he noticed your hands holding onto the edge of the gurney as a mean of support "instincts are still there, maybe after further training, tests and second injections, instincts and the common sense embedded in the muscle memory would be eliminated. Is the prototype ready?" he turned to one of the nearest scientists.

"Da" (Yes).

"Good. Take her to her cell, we'll continue tomorrow." Brock then grabbed your forearm and dragged you out of the room. Soldiers followed behind him, weapons ready in case you decided to grow a will again. 

That night you did as instructed and slept on the makeshift bed. The next day the same amount of guards escorted you to the same room as yesterday. It didn't seem to matter to you, there wasn't a collective thought in your mind, it wasn't yours. You were strapped to the same table, except this time, there were very little anxiety and fear. Something was telling you it was wrong to be this compliant, but the voice was muffled, underwater and far away for you to understand. 

"Make sure the cut is clean, the scarring is not necessary" the voice came from your side, the doctor.

'What was his name?' the thought came out of nowhere and was equally crushed into nothingness, your mind claiming it was unimportant.

You returned to your cell that day or night, nothing of that mattered anymore, but there was a horrible burning sensation on your left arm. Looking down your surveyed the metal limb that replaced your once standard arm. You tried to move it, but the pain became too much; instead, you moved your fingers slowly surveying its functionality. The scientist claimed it was for aesthetic purposes and very much necessary for the upcoming process. You didn't care, it wasn't your place to care, only to follow orders. 

The following days you were put through a harsh training regimen with the man with the mask and the crossbones plate. There were different language classes the main one being Russian, you were taught how to use anything and every weapon in the book, even how to turn ordinary things into arms. You grew accustomed to your metal arm and used it efficiently when in training. As days bled into months, you were also pushed to explore your other abilities such as technopathy, psychokinesis, psychometry, and dowsing, but the list seemed to grow as the days went by. Everything had to do with your mind. You didn't know what they had done, but it sometimes seemed neither did they. But an established pattern became your conditioning, every time there was some sort of remembrance you were subjected to the machine with the needles. It didn't happen often, surely it was more efficient than the previous one, or so they bragged about it. 

One day though, while you were training the chief doctor, who's name always escaped you, but you knew now not to ask unless you wanted to hurt. He came to the training room and observed for quite a while. You were used to the constant eyes on your form, the hands on your body, and the lack of clothing when it came the examination days. 

"Malen'kiy vorobey, ostanovis'" (Little Sparrow, stop) "Ty gotov?" (You are ready?)

"Da, gotov soblyudat'" you replied, no emotion laced your tone, they were just words made into a sentence. (Yes, ready to comply)


	6. Chapter 6

A year had passed after the incident. Everyone looked for you frantically, but after a month of no Hydra pop-ups, everyone feared and assumed the worst. The remainder of SHIELD command, ordered the search off, burying an empty rose gold casket into the ground. Bucky returned to the comfort of his mind, being what was needed during the missions, then afterward he would hide behind his walls cutting everyone off. There were moments where Steve saw a speck of his best friend only to leave as quick as it came. He knew Bucky looked for you in his spare time, and he had seen his bedroom wall for a quick second, full of pictures and maps pinpointing different options, before the door slammed shut.

Your room remained the same; no one touched it, no one dared. Except for Bucky, he frequented your room when he felt sad or frustrated, just like he used to do when you were in the compound. He would lay on your bed, eyes closed, arms splayed on the bed, and he would imagine your fingers running through his hair as you concentrated on your work. Tears would often escape his eyes, and he would wipe them, pulling his mask over his features as he exited your room. He truly never lost hope.

Bucky was in the common room, pretending to read some book when instead the pages were obstructed with maps containing old Hydra bases and point of interests. Suddenly the booming voice of Tony came through the room. 

"Meeting everyone, in the strategy room, urgent." 

Bucky's eyes darkened and rolled annoyed by the interruption, but he got up and followed everyone nonetheless. The few avengers and heroes that were in the compound scattered around the room in comfortable positions. Tony was leaning over the hologram projecting table, shuffling a small deck of cards. Everyone was expecting him to spill the so urgent news, but Tony was waiting for someone in specific as he occasionally looked at Bucky, the man hanging in the back inside the cover of the shadows. Bucky could feel Tony's glared or perhaps worried looks, but he had grown accustomed to the man's hatred, even though after your disappearance, there was a truce between both men. 

"What's the matter?" Steve rushed into the room in a hurry. Tony's eyes met the blue ones of the super soldier, the news weighing on his shoulders. He was almost afraid to tell it.

"Fury... he uh" he cleared his throat and pulled up the holograms of the table "There have been recent murders, important people ranging from politicians and the rich down to scientists and mechanics. Nobody has located the culprit or even deduce their motivations, but recently footage of one of the murders..." he stopped and abruptly straightened and went around the table towards the controls "Explain this to me, Rogers." 

A video started playing; the quality told everyone it was from a security camera and none other than one from the streets. A person was standing under the streetlamp; the individual seemed nervous and tensed but continued to stand in the light either way. Suddenly the person was tackled and choke to death. The culprit couldn't be seen, everything was dark, but the metal glinting under the light was unmistakable, and the red star that followed made everyone's blood freeze. 

Bucky leaned away from the wall and slowly approached the table. The video rewinded, played over and over always pausing at the same time, the moment where the arm is completely visible.

"That's not me," he muttered.

"Oh I know that's not you, frosty. This footage is very recent. What I wanna know is this" Tony pressed a button, and the video proceeded to show when the culprit steps into the light.

The person had shoulder-length hair, mouth plate, black goggles, and the winter soldier's combat gear. The individual was smaller, yet the resemblance was uncanny. Now, everyone's breath hitched.

"Are you doing some night time detective work on your own, Barnes? Do we need to worry about this? About you?" Steve went full-on mother hen mode; his face hardened at the accusations Tony threw towards his best friend. But then again the resemblance was so similar even he was having second thoughts. It had to be the angle, right?

"Now, wait, we all know the trigger words don't work on Bucky anymore, there's no way of bringing the soldier back," Steve claimed, he was sure of the facts and the evidence since he had witnessed everything. 

"But Barnes hasn't been the same since...(Y/N)" tension fell all over the room, Bucky's jaw ticked at the mentioned of your name, and his hands turned to fists at his sides "I've seen the wall, and I know how the situation may have affected him, hell it has changed all of us, but-"

"Is not him, Tony" steve countered interrupting Tony.

"Look me in the eyes and guarantee me that is not him sneaking out at night doing some vigilante kind of work" Steve looked down at his feet and then into Tony's eyes, his own blue ones cloudy with confusion, but he was determined to stand by his friend. 

"Is not him."

"FRIDAY, pinpoint all the locations of all the murders and make me a map, pull the background on all the victims and tell me what they have in common and make everyone a cup of coffee, we're gonna be here a while. We're going to find this frosty 2.0 and find some answers." Steve's shoulders relaxed, and Bucky was surprised at Tony's reaction. 

Everyone got to work, there were files on display in the holographic screens, and a vast map covered the area with several pins on it. Natasha was looking over the victims and pointing some info on them, while Tony drew a line connecting all the pins. 

"It's like someone was waiting for all of them to be in one place..." Steve murmured as he looked over the radius of the deaths.

"FRIDAY, what events concerning talented, rich, and intelligent people are transpiring in this radius." 

"There's a gala being hosted five miles from the latest murder, Scientific advances in technology and biology."

"Seems a bit up our alley." Tony looked deep in thought.

"How about an invitation, is it needed?" Steve cut in.

"Mr. Stark has been invited" 

"I have?"

"Yesterday" Pepper's voice chimed in, she was entering the room and making her way to Tony handing him a delicate envelope. 

"Well, who's up for some party-crashing?"

Everyone left the room, but Bucky stayed his eyes fixed on the holographic video. He watched the figure step into the light repeatedly. There was something about them that made him angry. This individual was yet another victim to Hydra's efforts into making the perfect weapon, and he couldn't let it slide. Not, after all, he had endured. Perhaps along the way, he could find a way to heal, by helping someone else he could help himself crawl out of the dark hole your loss had created. 

The gala was nothing out of the ordinary, some typical boring party, with live music and snobbish people drooling with envy over each other. Tony appeared with Pepper by his side. No one was impressed the spotlight had dragged him in, at least Hydra knew how to bait the man. You stayed perched on the ledge of the roof, your dark uniform camouflaging your hunched over form. You could have used your other abilities to make a clean kill from where you were, but this wasn't about an assassination it was about making a statement. Therefore you needed to be seen. They wanted everyone to get a glimpse of Hydra's latest weapon of choice. At how successful they had been in over a year. The wind stopped blowing for a second, and then the pittle-pattle of rain came towering over you. You held your ground, the water seeping under your uniform and drenching the fabric. Short brown hair stuck to your face, yet your eyes were fixed on the figures dancing and talking on the other side of the window.

There was no such thing as envy when you didn't have a will of your own. But it was moments like this one when you wondered how the warmth from inside the building felt like, how food and drinks must taste. Drinks. Drink. A special drink in a mug. Warm and frosty. Frosty. A cold man. The winter soldier with a B. B for Bucky, the man behind the myth. J.B.B, Barnes, Buchanan, James. James.

"Does anyone have eyes on the culprit?" A voice interrupted your train of thought and the realization it brought. Still, even though you had a name and last name, there was no face for it. 

Your eyes were closed as you concentrated on the voices in your head. 

"No visuals, they may not come at all." a female's voice, you could see her form in the eye of your mind. She was red-headed, pretty, sexy with a quite dangerous glint in her eyes. 

"Think we scared them off, or is it that Frosty is just on the other side of the building." This time it was a man, dark hair and eyes, handsome though he looked kind of cocky and arrogant. His chest glowed, there was something inside of it under his dress shirt. He was at the party. 

'Frosty. There it is again' your brain started to pound, the name took all your concentration, and you closed your eyes in hopes of returning to the job.

"Don't start, Tony. Just keep your eyes open." Another man, this one looked bigger, blond hair, intense blue eyes. He seemed to be all muscle, dressed in a uniform of sorts with the American flag theme. There was something about him that scream familiarity. 

The voices ran through your head like your mind was a radio and a video hub at the same time. Their forms appeared every time they talked through some kind of mist in your mindscape. You now had the directions and were moving swiftly towards the destination: on the side of the building. 

Bucky was standing guard on the alleyway beside the building. He was standing there, hair in a man bun, gun ready nearby and his entire uniform soaked wet. The downpour had come out of nowhere, but he refused to leave his post. He knew Steve was at the other side of the building, and Clint was on the very top. Just like the bird brain, he was. His own comment made him chuckle slightly; they were two bird brains. Intense blue eyes were trained at the end of the alley, the stench of wet trash masked the petrichor of the rain. It was very dreaded smelly position, however, better here in the cover of darkness than inside on the eyes of everyone. 

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of his skin crawling at the presence of someone behind him. He turned with a knife in hand but swished at the nothing but the droplets of the fading rain. Then he felt the hurried prick of a needle and the panorama went slow. He kneeled, holding his weight, all his muscles ordered him to crumble. His body already laying on the floor completely, eyes became droopy, and he could barely feel the light rain droplets on his uniform. But before everything went black, he caught the glint of metal approaching his forehead and felt the pressure of an invading presence inside his mind. 

You knelt down with the soldier, and your hand went to wipe his face and take the strands of hair obstructing his face. He was a good-looking man, very handsome at most. His hair cut was just like yours, and you assumed the contacts in your eyes resembled his. You didn't understand the obsession over the man. Sure, he had once been the biggest weapon the organization had, The Asset, the Winter Soldier. But now utterly vulnerable at your or the mercy of others, he looked adorable, peaceful even. He didn't look like an assassin. Then again, neither did you. Your whole form was a facade. The uniform had padding, your breast was cover by layers of wraps, your combat boots had somewhat heels, and even your hair had been dyed and cut accordingly. Your mind had wandered, you shook your head and started undressing him, but stopped when you saw his metal arm. It was on the same side that yours was. You positioned yourself beside him and compared your arm with his like a child would compare a playground scar with another. 

His was different. Same material but different: it was his. It had been made to his liking, and it had been his choice. You didn't have a choice. No one asked you if it was comfortable or if it was heavy on your frame. Things such as comfort and choice didn't matter. You didn't matter, not like you wished you did. 

You proceeded to undress the man and redress him in your clothes. They had been fastened around your form to fit you snugly. But in reality, we're much too big for you. You dressed in his uniform, secured all your weapons, and took his comm piece from his ear. 

"Buck, how are things on your end?"

You pinched the comm, and your mouth plate felt uncomfortable as you spoke in the man's tone of voice. 

"Everything's fine. No sign of the culprit." 

"Copy that" 

Your hand rested on his forehead, and you fetch the location of the mission from his memory. He had been there and had touched its walls, and therefore now you could see and now as well. Some sort of dowsing the had called it, you didn't understand it but were overwhelmed when it first manifested. Once you had the tower In mind, you tied your hair into a man bun and exited the alleyway making sure to avoid the view of the man above.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, I hope you are enjoying the work!! Please let me know if there are any mistakes or if you guys have any suggestions concerning the characters. Thanks for reading :D

You walked down the streets, getting on the vehicle that arrived two blocks down the opposite direction of the gala's building. Inside the car, were two guards beside you, the driver and none other than Brock on the passenger seat. 

"How are the comms?" 

"Quiet," you replied in Buky's voice, that made Rumlow laugh.

"It's like you are him, little songbird. Good job." 

There was a decent amount of traffic in the new york streets. But upon seeing the black SUV with tinted windows, the sea of cars seemed to open just to let it pass. Afterall the vehicle appeared to be driving quite fast. 

Upon arrival, you swung your big gun on your back and made sure everything was in place.

"Remember, little sparrow," you looked up to lock eyes with him "We need a suit, no mistakes. Kill anyone that threatens the mission. Your window is 30 seconds." You nodded, setting the timer on the small watch Rumlow gave you and placing the small drive in the breast pocket of your vest. Then his offering hand remains there asking for something in return. 

You looked at it and then took off your goggles, handing them to him revealing your eyes. They had contact lenses simulating Bucky's eye color. You step out of the car, and it left getting lost in between the rest of the traffic. Instinctively you glanced upwards locating all the cameras, and you made sure to linger a bit just so they could capture your form entirely. Then you headed for the front doors.

The crystal clear double doors opened, and your form strolled inside the luxurious lobby. The place was scarcely guarded, only one guard posted on the secretary's desk up front, mostly because it was the Stark tower and the suits upstairs were linked to the AI running the place. 

"Evening, Mr. Barnes," you jumped slightly at the voice. "Sorry to scare you, sergeant. What can I do for you?" 

"Uh...Nothing, thanks" You cleared your throat, awkwardness, and nervousness almost consuming you.

You hurriedly fast-walked past the security guard, who looked at you strangely, but let you pass nonetheless. You hopped on the elevator and found the lack of buttons a bit confusing. "Which floor are you headed to, Sergeant Barnes?"

"The lab, thanks." 

"Your clearance password, Sergeant" your eyes widened a bit, but you knew your heartbeat couldn't spike else, the ai would pick up something was amiss. 

You sighed, pretending to be annoyed just like Barnes would probably do "Frosty, the bitchiest of snowmen." it was rather annoying in fact, and you rolled eyes.

"Clearance granted, heading to the lab" you let out a breath and rolled your shoulders meaning to let some of the building tension go. 

The doors opened, and you found yourself being overwhelmed by the number of materials and machinery. Your breathing suddenly spiked your mind rowing towards the memories of all the torture and procedures you have undergone. 

"I'm detecting your elevated breathing pattern and the beginning of an anxiety attack, is everything alright, Sergeant Barnes? Would you like me to call, Captain Rogers?" You breathed a couple of times deeply and walked forwards with newfound intent and fake confidence. 

"No, thanks FRIDAY, all is good." you walked among the work tables, materials, and spare parts, all the way to the end of the room where there was another crystal door. 

You grabbed the handle and opened it, revealing the display room for all of Tony's Iron Man's suits. You picked whichever one looked less attractive. Your hand rested on top of the display glass, and the display's lights turned on, revealing the suit in more detail. The surface glass asked for a password. Eyebrows twisted in confusion but you knew this wouldn't be easy. 

Suddenly your stolen earpiece came to life. "I have eyes on some suspicious people with guns entering the building, be alert." 

That was your cue, you started the timer, and the whirring down of the whole building's electricity resounded through the room. The building was working with its auxiliary power, meaning there wasn't enough to power the suits immediately. Your metal arm broke the glass in. A loud annoying alarm started off, but that didn't stop you from detaching the back neck plate on the suit and hooking the drive in the port. The suit came to life, its eyes glowing with thousands of binary codes going upwards. 

20 seconds.

"Warning, intruder." Your eyes went to the ceiling glaring at the invisible AI for being a snitch. "Disturbance in the Lab, display sector. Powering security suits." 

You grabbed the weapon from your back, clicking the safety off and getting ready for any attack. The suits surrounding you tried to power up but failed to do so quickly. The suit in front of you still had the codes rolling through its eyes, when the elevator door opened, revealing the security guard you had seen before. He was an average security guy, not too scrawny, but he had some muscle underneath his uniform. His handgun was in his hands, ready to shoot the intruder. As he entered the display room, his determined expression changed dramatically to one of confusion.

"Sergeant Barnes, FRIDAY told me there's a disturbance, is everything alright?" you nodded signaling to the right as if the culprit just went that way. Your gun was still lowered, but your trigger finger was ready. The guard nodded in accordance and went slowly to the signaled area; he surveyed the area but found some small toolboxes and spare parts littered on the floor. "Are you su-"

The handgun was in your hand and had already shot the guard, a clean headshot before the man could finish his sentence. 

5 seconds.

The suit beeped, and its eyes shut down completely. You took the suit's hand and hid it inside your vest, you made your way to the guard and placed his body in front of the broken glass. 

2 seconds. 1.

"Systems fully operational, accounting disturbances. Recalibrating visuals and security systems." 

"FRIDAY?" you called making your way to the elevator, eyes almost closed as you passed by the working tables from the lab "Threat neutralized. Lift lockdown, code..." you inhaled through your nose once more annoyed. "Most frostiest Icicle" honestly the hate for this man was amazingly well handled into puny insults. 

"Code confirmed, I shall inform Mr. Stark of the disturbances. Shall I take you to the lobby?"

"Yes, please." Your gun was still in your hand as the elevator made its way to the lobby. 

Two patrols were standing outside, keeping the prying eyes away from the scene; the thing was there was no scene. You exited the double doors, putting the handgun away and walking by the two patrols. No one bothered you or even called out for you; after all, you were almost an Avenger. They noticed your form leave the lobby and some bystanders did call out for you, but you ignored them and continued walking. The officers didn't let them get to you. Down the sidewalk and a bit farther from the tower, another SUV picked you up and once inside you gave the robotic hand to Brock.

"Rogers? There's someone in my tower."

"What?" the captain's voice sounded busy and came out with pants and huffs.

"This is a diversion we have to move, preferably now."

"Avengers inbound. Time estimate unknown." you related the information to the men surrounding you. 

"I'll handle this, take her to the alley. You know what to do, little songbird" the car stopped randomly, he got off, and the ride continued. 

"Bucky, Clint stay behind and secure the area. The rest of us have to move to Stark Tower." 

"Understood" your voice came through the comm a bit garbled, almost two voices talking at once. You hit the thing twice, speaking as you did.

"Everything okay with your comm piece, Buck?" 

"Der'mo" you muttered (Shit), then pressed the comm piece "Yeah, having...a bit of...interference" you took the mouth plate off and knocked it against the window, cracking it a bit.

"Privet! Privet!" the driver yelled (Hey! Hey!). You lifted your hands, signaling surrender then placed the mouth plate back on your face again.

"Just try to stay close to Clint, got it?"

"Got it." 

You were dropped at the same place they had picked you up, a small fight still going on inside the gala building. People gathered outside the building, and that provided you with the perfect cover to sneak back into the alleyway. You swiftly went through the crowd keeping your face lowered and avoiding to bump into anyone. 

"Buck, I could use some back up" You assume the voice belongs to Clint. Barton Francis, Clinton.

"On my way, Barton," you replied still a bit garbled. You ran to the alleyway and undressed quickly. 

Redressing the still knocked out soldier, you thought the drugs must've been powerful, and according to the file you knew they knew what medication to pick and how much to administer. He was heavy, but you manage to dress him up completely. Then curiosity hit, he was still out, and you could perhaps have an uninterrupted glance into the man's memories. A peek can't hurt if you are careful. With little to no time, your hand rested on his vest, trying to find something of his. Then you remembered his handgun and took his replacing it with yours.

Quickly you climbed out of the alleyway and ran down through several blocks reaching the rendezvous point. Brock wasn't there; in fact, no one was there yet. It was a perfect time to use your abilities without being punished for it. You took the comm piece out and crushed it beneath your combat boot. No distractions. Picking the least grimy corner, you sat down on your calves with the handgun being held in both of your hands. It was smooth, clearly cleaned, and polished after every mission. You caressed it beginning to meditate on gathering all the memories and information you could. Indeed he did care for the gun, and it was the first thing you saw. He was sitting cross-legged on top of his bed. The room neutral, not many knick-knacks or decoration, just some old polaroid photos except for two or three that seemed to have been taken with more modern cameras. In front of him was a small handkerchief was the gun had been pulled apart, and piece by piece he was carefully cleaning them. He seemed to be rooted in thought, almost nostalgic and robotic in equal measure. Deep inside, his mind was somewhat troubled and in mourning. There was a girl in one of the pictures, someone he once held in high esteem but lost them. The face of the person was obstructed every time you concentrated hard enough on them, though you kept trying to see it nonetheless. 

"FRIDAY, pull up surveillance, show me what happened" 

"Right away, sir. Although I must inform you, one of the suits is malfunctioning." 

"Tell me the diagnosis." 

"I'm unable to pinpoint the flaw it seems something is blocking out the signal. I cannot connect to it and vice versa." 

"I'm assuming is the broken glass one." he approaches the suit with an air of cockiness until he saw the security guy's body slumped over on the floor. 

"Correct" 

"Cap, you better get up here." The suit whirred to life, its eyes no longer the tranquil bluish light from the arc reactor, but they were red like the war machine's.

"On my way."

It went to grab Tony's hand but was stopped by another suit, piloted by FRIDAY. The two suits started a brawl and Tony ran to the nearest available suit, getting in. Suddenly the suit broke through FRIDAY's hold and went out of the window just as Natasha and Steve entered the room. 

Tony hovered in front of the pair "Cap? Change of plans, follow that suit." then exited through the hole the other suit had made. 

"Up. Down. Make up your mind." he clicked his earpiece "Bucky, Clint, finish there, we have to follow one of Tony's suits." Steve and Natasha made their way to the elevator.

"Steve! Bucky's down."

"What?!"

"And from the looks of it, it must've been one hell of a drug; he's completely out." 

"Dammit" 

"Language" Tony's voice chirped in.

"Stay put, don't move. I'll send Natasha on your way." Nat nodded, and as soon as the pair was on the lobby, they went their separate ways. Natasha borrowed a motorcycle from one of the most recent officers in the scene, and Steve grabbed a patrolling car. 

Meanwhile hidden in some alleyway, Brock controlled the suit and took Tony on a trip through the city. He tried to shake the suit but was unable to. 

"Dammit," he swore under his breath, then proceeded to order his men. "Little sparrow, what's your position?" you didn't answer "Sparrow, where are you?" still no answer "I'm going to kill her."

While Brock debated whether or not he should end you, his men were taking hostages on the nearest cafe. 

"Cap, we have hostages. 2532 Broadway street, inside the diner." 

"On it." Tony lost the suit for that brief moment.

"Shit" he scanned the section of the city he was currently hovering above, but the suit gave no signal since it had lost connection with FRIDAY. "FRIDAY?"

"Yes, sir." 

"Scanned for strong electric impulses, nothing domestic. That should help" The map in front of Tony showed him small dots that got narrowed to one. "Got it." 

He made his way towards the designated alley, but as he landed at the entrance, the suit flew away. Tony was hot on its heels, once more. 

"Tony"

"Steve"

"There's no one here." 

"Someone is having too much fun leading us nowhere." Tony was somewhat angry. Then there was a beeping inside his suit. 

"Incoming, Mr. Stark. On your six." 

Tony saw the infrared closeup of the individual aiming and landing a successful shot at his leg thruster. The suit sputtered a bit, slowing down but not stopping. 

"FRIDAY?"

"The right leg thruster is damaged, diverting power to the remaining ones." it powered up and resumed its pursuit. Then it got shot again, this time on the hand. Tony hissed at the burn. "Right-hand thruster damaged. Second-degree burns. I can't disperse the power, sir." 

"This sucks. Let's land." 

The stolen suit made its way into the rendezvous point; the two previous black SUV's were waiting. Brock brought the suit to the trunk and got inside the passenger seat. The cars speed into the streets, getting lost into the typical New York traffic. The silence inside the car was tense, and one daresay awkwardly so. You remained stoic through it all, despite your heartbeat escalating at the mere thought of anyone finding out. Brock turned around slightly in his seat, his eyes were focused on you, but you merely looked forward. 

"Where were you, Little sparrow?" his voice was tense and laced with rage almost like a snake poised to attack at the slightest of movements. 

"At the rendezvous point, awaiting orders." 

"I know, you did a good job shooting the suit down. But where were you?" you gulped, and to anyone it was unnoticeable, but to Brock it meant disobedience. 

He sighed and turned forward, leaving you tense and expectant. Then just like you had predicted it happened, the punch came fast, and you had no space to avoid it. It hit you square in the face, making it rebound backward against the seat. Your face leaned down, blood now trickling down your nose for a different reason. Sniffling you wiped it and looked forward once more as if nothing had happened. 

"Podozhdite, poka my ne uvidim doktora KH'yugo" he was now looking towards the highway (Wait until we see Dr.Hugo), he sighed but smirked unbeknownst to you "On ne sobirayetsya byt' dovol'nym, malen'kaya pevchaya ptitsa" (He's not going to be pleased, little songbird). 

Your eyes widened for a second, heart hammering so hard you almost thought it would escape your chest. You managed to control your breathing, but the fact that you were close to the base made it a bit hard.


	8. Chapter 8

"They stole my suit. Unbelievable, Someone took one of my suits. It was all a diversion." Tony was looking at the cityscape through the hole the other suit had previously made, his hands on his hips sassily.

Natasha was looking at the broken glass and assisting the agents taking the security guard's body. Clint was pretending to listen in on Tony's bickering, but he was more interested in his sign conversation with Nat. Clint rolled his eyes at Nat's statement when the room's door opened. Tony turned to look at Steve and Bucky enter. Both of their brows were crinkle in confusion and concern.

"This is a mess," Steve murmured under his breath. Bucky chuckled humourlessly peeping at Steve line of sight.

"Where were you frosty, or do I have to assume you were responsible?" Bucky's face turned neutral, almost angry, but he knew better than to antagonize Tony for being defensive. He had come to understand it was his way of coping, a horrible way truly.

"I was jumped. I blackout." his reply was curt, and to the point, he had nothing to hide. 

"Really now, because it seems to me, this person knew exactly what codes to use and which way to go. They used your codes, Barnes. No one besides us knows those codes." 

"We have a mole then" Clint chimed in. 

"No, no, unless Capsicle here, is selling secrets for more time, this is impossible. Those codes are between us and FRIDAY, and no offense-"

"Tony" Natasha's tone was patronizing like a mother about to chastise her child for stepping out of line. Tony ignored her and stepped closer to Bucky until they were face to face.

"-But I do trust my AI whole lot than I trust you, Barnes" His tone lowered as if the phrase was a secret between the two fo them. Bucky's expression didn't change; it wasn't even challenging but neutral and calm. 

"It wasn't me. I was jumped. Check the surveillance" Tony nodded, skeptical and mocking at the same time. 

"FRIDAY pulled the footage from the street at the gala building, code 3000DAD. Show me the one closest to Barnes' alleyway." 

There was a holographic keyboard, and the footage was being showcased in the middle of the room. Tony clicked on the keyboard with a huff. The video showed Bucky speaking to his comm piece and entering the alleyway beside the building. After some fat seconds, he emerged once more and this time armed. The mouth plate and the goggles obstructed his face. He glanced at the camera almost mockingly, like he wanted to be seen and then proceeded to move away from the perimeter. Tony made a mocking gesture towards the footage, maintaining eye contact with Steve as he did so. 

"Fast forward to after the fight," Steve urged, and Tony did so with an annoyed sigh. 

The footage fast-forwarded, some people walked past the alleyway all crowding the street and sidewalk, but no one entered. Then after a minute or two, the soldier appeared once more, goggles were missing, but his mouth plate was still in place. He entered the alleyway and didn't come out until Clint ran into the area. 

"Now are we convinced?" 

Bucky didn't remember anything except being jumped on and not being given a fighting chance. Whoever attacked him came fast; they knew they were no match for him, so they sneaked in on him. Even with his superior hearing, he didn't hear the attacker. Something wasn't right. 

"This doesn't-"

"How about a test?" Clint interrupted all eyes on him now "We can alter something in Bucky's persona, something that makes him: him. Then we can really know if somehow James is just sleepwalking or something" Natasha's eyebrows quirked impressed for a moment at her friend's suggestion. 

"It can be a subtle and safe way to know for sure." Natasha was standing in front of the hologram, arms crossed.

"Or we can lock Barnes and keep an eye on him just to be sure" Steve rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose at Tony's suggestion. 

"We'll go with Barton's plan. How about a hair cut, Buck?" Everyone glanced Bucky's way, and he simply nodded and continued to look at the paused video.

Leaving the cleaning crew and agents to deal with the mess, the group went up to Tony's kitchen. This wasn't the compound, but it was spacious enough for them all to fit. After various discussions on what to do next, how to catch the culprit or who even was the culprit, they settled on Bucky's image subject. They agreed with Bucky's war look. In all honesty, he didn't want to cut his hair, but if something this simple proved he was innocent, he would sacrifice his comforts for the truth. 

You were sitting on one of the tables, combat gear had been stripped off, and you were clothed in a black tank top, loose black pants, and barefoot. Still, the mouth plate was covering your lower face. The suit you helped steal was being worked upon near you, and your eyes looked at it with curiosity. There was something very familiar about it, and maybe that was the reason you weren't allowed to touch such things. Most of the times, you weren't restraint since you were obedient, they had created some bracelet like cuffs that were hooked around your wrists and would deliver a bolt every time you disobeyed. They were tiny things, and although you felt you could've ripped them off, you didn't want to give the thought a try. 

But right now, the temptation to approach the suit was too high. You looked around, gaze assessing all the doctors and scientists surrounding the suit and the monitors hooked to it. Surely no one would notice if you had a peek, so you stood up, and no eyes were on you. You took some small steps towards the machine, and still, no one looked at you. The guards did saw you move, but since Dr. Hugo wasn't around yet, they let you wander around the room. No harm is done in small rewards for the significant effort and success you brought. You unintentionally sneaked around the people buzzing around the suit. Cold sweat rolled down your temple and goosebumps littered your skin as your hand came closer to grazing the metal fingers of the suit. 

Pain shot through you and you hissed taking your hand into your chest as a way to keep it safe. The doctors and scientists finally saw you; their faces held both amazement and fear at the realization of how close you came to them and went unnoticed. 

"Ah, ah, little songbird. No touching" Rumlow's harsh voice came from the door as he steps aside to reveal Dr. Hugo. 

He grabbed your forearm and pushed you on the metal table. 

"Such a curious creature" Dr. Hugo stood in front of you "you do know what they say about curiosity, don't you? It kills. Now mission report."

Your lips wanted to stay sealed, but you took the mouth plate off, and they opened, unintentionally spilling the words. 

"Everything went as expected. They think the Winter Soldier is responsible, and no one suspects otherwise." 

"Good, now rumor has it the sergeant is getting a new haircut. See to it that she looks the part" With that, the doctor turned to address other matters in the room. 

"Who is Barnes?" The question came out so innocent. It burst out of your lips, and you couldn't stop it. 

The whole room almost went silent at the mention of the last name. They knew better than to linger in matters that didn't concern them, so they kept working with an open ear. Meanwhile, Dr. Hugo turned slowly to face you, his usual cartoony smile failing. 

"Barnes, Buchanan James. Sergeant. Howling Commandos. 107th" now everyone's attention was diverted towards you. 

"Let me see your hands, little sparrow" you were reluctant at first, extending your trembling hands towards the doctor. He inspected them and glanced at you from over his glasses. "Turn then over" you turned your left hand, the metal glinting in the spotlight, then slowly turned your right hand. 

A faded line of blood was visible in between the base of your index finger and your thumb. If he weren't thoroughly searching for something the like, it would have gone by unnoticed. The doctor looked at you once more over his glasses, hidden anger shinning on his features. There was some gladness mixed with disappointment that was visible in his eyes. 

"Take her to the room. 3 hours." 

You whimpered lowly as the bracelets hummed to life with low continuing jolts running through you. Your hands went to hold them, attempting to tear them off. Two guards signaled by Rumlow grabbed your arms, their uniforms specially manufactured to prevent the electricity from affecting them. You struggled, wriggling in their grasps and digging your heels on the tiles as your muscles cramped from the pain. 

"No! No stop. I won't ask more. I don't want to know, please!" the guards kept walking towards the double doors in the room.

"You have to understand, songbird. Disobedience requires punishment." 

"No! I didn't mean to do it! I'm sorry" Your voice was scratchy at this moment. The guards drag you further along the hall, Rumlow following suit behind you. He started whistling a joyful tune as the double doors from the previous room closed behind him. To the naked eye, he looked like he was mockingly rearranging his gloves when in reality, he was amping the voltage of your cuffs. You stopped struggling, your body still in pain but limp in the grip of the guards. Drool seeps a bit down your chin, eyes shut closed and your nails dug inside your palms. You all came to a stop before a heavy metal door, Rumlow opened it, and the guards threw you inside. They left, and Brock strolled inside closing the door behind him as a precaution. He kneeled beside your curled form and pulled a knife out of his leg pocket. 

"Please, no" you whined and only received a chuckle in return. 

"This is the second time this week we have to waste clothes. Makes me think you want to be naked" The knife cut the straps of your top, then the pants until you were left in your underwear. He threw the remnants of clothing to a corner behind him. "You can't keep doing this" his tone sounded almost apologetic as he caresses your brow "lovingly." 

He then rolled you a bit to the side and stabbed the knife in your back far from reach. You screeched, and the cuffs on your wrists magnetized together, giving you a warning shock. 

"You know the drill," he whispered in your ear, nuzzling his mask against your cheek and kissing you through the mask. He abruptly stood up and opened the door lingering beside it. "Three hours, little sparrow" with that the door closed and locked from the outside. 

You did your best to quickly stand up as the pipes moaned to life and water came pouring from tubes on both sides of the room. You screamed in pain as you leaned against the wall, the knife digging more profound, feeling like it scraped bone. There were no lights above you, just complete darkness and the thundering water filling the room.

You took deep breaths and concentrated in pulling the knife out of your back. The headaches had been fewer since you practiced with your abilities, but the pain of removing the blade combined with the latter was hellish and torturous. Pulling the knife out with your mind was an easy task, but exhaustion and pain were making the idea of the knife lodge in, better. Nonetheless, you screamed as the weapon hit the water with a splash that got lost in the deafening roar of the falling water. Blood was swishing along with the water, trickling down your nose and rolling down your back in rivulets. 

Just three hours. You needed to last three hours with your hands raised above the freezing water. Otherwise, you would be electrocuted over the whole period. Your first time had been thirty minutes, and you learned your lesson. After mishaps in the past, you learned, placing your hands on top of your head leaning against the wall. Eyes close in some kind of meditation with a mantra that said: "Just hold on a bit more." But after seeing you had made the punishment manageable, they started filling the room a bit more to the point where the water rose up to cover your lips and almost your nose.


	9. Chapter 9

Bucky looked at the footage of the soldier walking in and out of the alleyway for the thousandth time. It both amazed and perturbed him, knowing how long they had had to be watching him to get everything right. 

It was late in the night, and he was still awake. The insomnia he had been harboring before his recovery had come back in full swing after your disappearance. Five hours a night had been his deal with Steve, but now he could barely make it knowing someone was suffering in his old shoes. The creepiest thing wasn't the invasion of his privacy; it was the fact that this person could be a clone of himself, one of those tube babies he had seen that fateful day. 

He was in the common room, the tv on for white noise and a small bowl of fruits on his side. Bucky tried to asses everything when soft footsteps approached the hallway. Judging the sound he deduced, it was Steve. After a while in the compound, he learned the thudding of each step, by far Natasha was the quietest. Sam was the noisiest. 

Knowing Steve would reprimand him for staying up late "obsessing" over the case, he shut the hologram and upped the volume of the tv. His eyes focused on nothing, but his gaze was directed at the screen. 

"You still awake, really Buck." Bucky smiled at the mental image he paired with Steve's tone. It reminded him of his ma, which always made him feel equally nostalgic and warm. 

"Just watchin' somethin." 

"Come on, bud, I know you better than that. You were watching the video, weren't you?" Steve made his way to the sofa and sat beside Bucky. 

Bucky nodded, and the hologram came back, showing the footage. 

"They walk just like you Buck, their mannerism and the way they speak. It's like they're you." Steve held his head in his hands, frustration leaking out of his frame "We either cut your hair or... lock you up. There's no other way, just to be sure." he hated himself for suggesting it, but it was a flawless method. 

"No," Bucky's gazed hardened. His jaw clenched, and his fists turned into fists on his lap. 

"Bucky, is not going to take long for Fury to notice or for someone to make out the similarities. They'll lock you up or worse. I'm with you till the end of the line. I just ask for one time. Then we can be sure." 

Bucky stood up and went towards the huge window in the room. There wasn't much of a view, but it was tranquil, and it managed to calm him a bit. Then the idea came to him; it pushed away all of his previous thoughts.

"What if I trade places with them?" he turned to look at Steve as if he had just found the answer to everything in life. "What if the next time we meet, I do the same thing they did with me on the gala?" 

"Absolutely not, bad idea." there was no space for argument with Steve's tone, but Bucky insisted.

"What? Why not? It's a good idea. Not only we would know who the mystery twin is, but we can figure who's behind this for sure."

"What if is them, Bucky? What if is Hydra, which it probably is? What if that's their plan, Buck? To draw you out so they can have you again, we are not taking those chances. I'm not taking those chances." By now, Steve was standing in front of Bucky, concern written on his features. 

Bucky huffed "I'll risk it."

"And here I thought the reckless one, was me." Steve chuckled humorlessly.

"Come one, Stevie, there's no quicker way." 

"You can stay in Banner's panic room. Safe. In. The compound. I'll even bring you plums and a book." Bucky chuckled

"That's a bad joke; you know plums lead to disasters." 

"Come on. We'll tell Tony tomorrow. You need your five-hour beauty sleep." Steve turned and walked through the hallway he had come. 

Bucky turned the tv off. The hologram was still on display, and the culprit was walking out of the alleyway. They looked at the camera, and Bucky felt they were looking at him. It unnerved him, but at the same time, he couldn't pinpoint what was making the staring so familiar. He turned the hologram off and went behind Steve's trail; everyone can worry about this tomorrow. 

After the three hours, the water began to drain, and the metal door opened. Your eyes squinted at the sudden light, and the sudden gust of air made you tremble. The throbbing in your upper back made the cramping in your arms worst. All in all, you were ready to collapse but held back in fear of being left inside longer. Two soldiers came and grabbed your arms. You winced and whimpered at the suddenness of the actions, yet you leaned against them involuntarily, greedy for their warmth. Rumlow stopped in front of them; he grabbed your chin and pointed your eyes towards him. Your almost blue lips quivered, your ice-cold skin felt the clash of his warm gloves, and once more you wanted to lean unto him. 

"What did we learned?" 

"O-ob-be-dien-nce" 

"Good pet. Take her to the med bay. The good doctor wants to see her" you shivered at the request, but didn't know if it was the cold or what you knew was coming. 

Rumlow stayed behind as the two soldiers dragged your stumbling form through the dim-lit hallway. Once you arrived at the med bay, which only contained one makeshift bed surrounded by curtains, a small table with materials, a couple of outdated monitors, and a rusting metal sink. The place felt and looked very unsanitary, but after all, Hydra's focus was on their experiments rather than on health. 

You were draped unceremoniously on the bed. It was similar to the bed you first awoke on. Your brow knitted in confusion. 

'What do you mean when you first awoke? '

The pulse in the wound ripped you out of your thoughts, and the door opened just in time. You accommodated yourself as best as you could and draped your metal arm in between your legs, the other one held unto the edge of the bed for support. Dr. Hugo came into the room with two individuals from the medical staff. They watched their hands, gloved them, and went to work on you. 

"I hope we learned our lesson, little songbird" you locked eyes with him, yours looking miserable and glazed, while he took a more cheerful tone.

You nodded, wet hair draping around your face covering it. 

"Aww, do not be shy, pretty sparrow. You'll soon forget about it. How about some clothes?" he walked calmly towards the bed and placed a black bundle on top of it. 

Your hands itched to move towards the clothing, but you knew best. Instinct meant disobedience that equals punishment. Dr. Hugo knew this and watched closely for your reaction. You, on the other hand, focused on the needle suturing the skin and mending the ugly wound. By tomorrow the injury would turn into a thin, ugly scar. One of many reminders that if blend together would mean nothing. When the nurse was done, you stayed still. 

"Go on, get dressed, little sparrow. We have someone who wants to meet you, and he's most anxious to do so" with that the trio left you alone, you knew it was for a short time, but the reprieve was nice.

You were programmed to not remember, to obey and to hold on to the vital knowledge and muscle memory after every wipe. Most of it was just survival and how to kill most efficiently. But there were some gaps were the remembrance slipped in. It was in those moments when you missed the rain, the rolling of thunder, the grass under your feet, and the good smells of the world. Even their color would be good enough. But you would always be content with recognizing the man with the gray ocean eyes. 

You shook your head and dressed in the long sleeve shirt and the baggy pants. There were a pair of combat boots and socks at the side of the bed. After putting them on you knocked on the door and it opened from the outside, the good doctor waiting with the same smile and joyous glint in his beady eyes. 

"Good," he started walking away, and as you followed, three guards surrounded you. They encased you in their formation, their weapons ready to strike if the occasion arose. 

You took a turn and went down a hall you've never passed before. It was less lighted than the others, almost eerie painted to be forgotten. Even the walls looked like they turned darker, the more in-depth you walked down the hall. Your eyes focused on the helmet of the guard in front of you, but you couldn't help what your peripheral view saw all around you. The place honestly looked unkept and straight out of a horror movie.

In the end, there was a door, and it surprises you to see how esthetic and sterile the room looked. It was similar to the place you had been before your punishment, but this one held more personality. This was someone else's quarters. As if called by your presumptions, the robot you had stolen came into view. It seemed autonomous, its gaze as calculating as before but with life. 

The doctor dismissed the guards, and the suit assed your reaction as the door closed behind them. You knew they weren't far behind; after all, you were here. Dr. Hugo then approached the robot, yet its focus on you didn't stir. 

"Little sparrow," the nickname caught your attention, and you locked eyes with the doctor, "Meet the man who made you possible: Arnim Zola." 

The robot slowly walked to you, but you held your ground, looking at it straight in the eyes. It came around you assessing every part of you, and it made you uncomfortable. The man wasn't alive and yet the way its eyes scanned you made a chill shoot up your spine. He came to a stop behind you and the anxiety of holding back delivered chills. You wanted nothing more than to tackle the thing, but you knew better. 

"The resemblance is almost uncanny...almost, there's always room for improvement." The voice had a thick accent, and there was a slight similarity to a robot's tone.

"She was subjected to the serum, her arm was replaced to carry out the position, and there's something else" Dr. Hugo spoke enthusiastically, like a kid describing all the attributes of his Christmas toy. 

This seemed to catch the other doctor's attention, and he stood stoically expectant, whereas Dr. Hugo beamed at the opportunity. 

"We have done this exercise several times. The experimental drug combined well with the serum, and we like to think this mingle unlocked some hidden parts on the brain." he stopped and waited for the information to sink in. 

"Go on." 

Dr.Hugo nodded to you, and you went to the closest monitor, one that was hanging from the wall. 

"Chto by vy khoteli uslyshat'?" (What would you like to hear?)

"Surprise us." You nodded, and Dr. Hugo went to stand by the suit. 

You gulped, hand reaching out to lay against the screen. You closed your eyes and brought to mind images of several Avengers members. They all slid across your headspace until you settled on the creator of the very suit standing not too far from you. He was handsome with his glasses and well-groomed goatee. You then imagined your self standing beside him, and it happened. You suddenly saw where he was and with whom. 

Outside from your mindscape, the monitor flickered into static, the annoying sound rising in volume. The suit glanced at the doctor whose smile never faltered, and his eyes focused on your form. Then a voice could be discerned in between the static. At first, it wasn't clear, but as the static left, the sound came through. It was Tony Stark. Everything the man talked it was transmitted into the monitor, and the doctor could hear the conversation. 

"So, lemme get this straight" he seemed to inhaled sharply "You want to lock Barnes inside Banner's panic room until the mission passes so you can prove is not him...Well, technically it could work, but YOU want to lock Barnes?... It is very much so." 

A bead of blood slid down one nostril then as you kept pushing to transit other voices, another came from the other nostril. 

"I already talked to him, he agreed. We talked it out last night..." Steve Rogers "Umm, I don't know if he wants that, I mean he's willing but...Then let him decide that" 

Then the static noise came back slowly; your face scrunched up in pain, and the monitor's screen cracked under your hand. You lowered your hand, and the screen went back to play whatever it was streaming before. Your eyes looked bloodshot when you opened them to gauge at the doctors' reaction. Doctor Hugo was ecstatic, but the only response you got from Zola was the suit's normal humming. Then it turned to Hugo. 

"What else can she do?" at the request, Dr. Hugo smiled even more and looked your way. 

"There are other things." 

You wiped the blood from your nose and prepared for what was to come. One thing's for sure: it was going to be exhausting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the story any good? I'm just getting it off my mind to make space for other ones, but I feel it's lacking. Let me know what you guys think in the comments! ;)


	10. Chapter 10

It was barely five-thirty in the morning, and Steve was arguing with Bucky over the options the team had given them. Bucky was sipping some coffee Steve had brewed for the both of them. 

"Fine, one time. Just one," Steve nodded and left his friend "I wish you were here right now," he looked out of the window of the common room as he spoke to you. 

They had been talking for an hour about the contingency plan for Bucky and everyone came to a compromise. The conclusion had been to leave the haircutting as a last resort. When everyone left to do their daily agenda, Bucky stayed behind with Steve. His best friend had told him what the others thought and what the plan was going to be. 

Admittedly, he was doing this for you. After your disappearance he never gave up hope that somewhere Rumlow had you, Bucky just had to look deeper and better. So far he had compiled several articles, files, and reports but none talked about a female SHIELD agent. And if they wanted ransom or extortion, then the letter never came. Logic and regulations told him you were most likely dead by now, buried in some frozen lake somewhere. The thought always haunted him to the point where it became his nightmares sometimes. 

He could recall the most recurring one. He would always run on top of an old pier in a lake. There was never a motive for him to run, no objective or mission, and yet he was always dressed in combat clothes. He would reach the end of the wooden dock and jump into the dark water. It terrified him that he couldn't seem to swim and would always sink to the bottom. When he reached the rocks, he would always meet your floating body. You had bruises and gashes here and there, your skin completely pale, your (H/C) hair lost its shine and now floated with grace. At this point, he had no oxygen left, and just when he's about to open his mouth and join you. Your eyes would snap open. Your eyes no longer (E/C). They were blue, light, and pale just like his are. Then you would grab his throat and choke him until his vision becomes a vignette. What's unnerving is that after he starts losing consciousness, you start looking more like him. And then he wakes up, not with screams but out of breath as if someone was truly choking the life out of him. He would grab his throat looking for your phantom hands and fingers, going to the mirror in the bathroom to see if there were bruises. But as always, he looked unscathed. 

Of course, this was all denial. Deep down, he knows you're alive but as cruel as it sounds, he would rather you be dead. Because if you are alive and in Rumlow's hands, then you're in Hydra's hands. And being in their hands means wishing for death every day.

But then this mystery man appeared. Unless it's himself, which is the current trend between his teammates, he could lead him to you. If you're alive, that is. 

Suddenly, footsteps were approaching the room. He turned to look at the person and found Steve. His best friend's expression was a mixture of worry and relief. It was confusing. 

"Is everything alright, Stevie?"

"Tony pinpointed the next strike. It's time for the lockdown" Steve's jaw clenched after the phrase, and he sounded revolted. 

Bucky only nodded and looked out the window once more, at least the sky was a dark light blue. It was almost dawn. Bucky then turned following Steve down the hall. 

__~~~__

After trying out all your abilities, you ended exhausted and spent. Since you had behaved during all the tests, Dr. Zola decided not to wipe you. He didn't want to kill you from the strain. You were already showing some signs of mental atrophy, and he wanted to be cautious. 

Two guards then draped you over a rackety bed inside the normal cell. The springs were broken, and you felt them through the thin mattress. There was a draft coming from somewhere, but you had nothing to cover yourself. The small barred cell made you feel exposed since there was free space around your box. 

You were harshly shaken awake by the clank of a metal door. The guard opened the door, and two more entered the cell. You laid still on the bed, leveling your breaths, so they thought you were asleep. 

"I have to say she's not bad looking. If she weren't this fucked up, I would have tapped that ass" the trio snickered, and it gradually became giggles and then straight out laughter. 

You closed your eyes. The fact that there was no wiping yesterday meant you still remembered everything with the addition of James identity. This added fuel to the fire already burning from so much torture. True, you were controlled to obey, but deep in your mind, there was residue from each wiping and it all conglomerates into a messy collage of facts. You don't know what it all means, but you will find out by any means necessary. 

The guards stopped laughing, and one of them lightly kicked your bed. "Vorobey, vstavay. Segodnya yarkiy den'." (Sparrow, get up. Today is a bright day.)

You didn't move. He exchanged a look with his fellow guard mate. Then kicked again with more force this time. You didn't even stir; your body is languid and relaxed. 

The guard then grabbed your shoulder and turned you over. Your eyes were closed, and there was a small streak of blood coming from your nose. You swore he panicked and shook you wildly like a child would a malfunctioning toy. Still, you didn't respond. 

The guard turned and spoke through his radio. His friend walked around him to touch your pulse, and as his finger laid on your neck, your eyes snapped open. You grabbed his face, putting your hands on his temples. Then use your abilities to snap the other guards' necks. The usage of your powers made the cuffs on your wrist give you a shock, and it went through the guard, frying his head in the process. The cuffs stopped, and you painted, hair disheveled and eyes fierce and wild. You wiped the blood from your nose and grabbed the keys from one of the dead guards. 

You opened the door with the keys, conserving your powers. Once out you went the opposite side everyone would expect you to go. As you walked, the cameras were overcome with interference. Guards were walking and chatting along the way. They glanced up at you. 

"Chto ty delayesh', Vorobey?" One of them asked. (What are you doing, Sparrow?)

"I was...requested" You struggled to say the last word and your frustration and confused look added to your story. 

Both guards nodded and continue to keep walking. You sauntered towards the med bay, and once they were out of reach, you changed directions. Going and coming through the base helped you map all possible exits. 

You kept walking and reached a room you knew was empty by this time. 

Closing the door behind you, you let out a breath. This was proving more stressful than you thought, but patience was necessary. This part was equally important, and you needed to act fast. This was the mechanics' workroom, here's where all the vehicles, gadgets, and whatnots were made real. Which meant there were also tools scattered all around the place. Even with the ethics of the place, you couldn't force people out of their mannerisms. 

You picked a screwdriver and pliers. You then laid your wrist palm up on top of one of the tables. There were small screws on top of the shining metal. Your hand worked as quickly as it could and unscrewed the screws from both cuffs. Once there were none, the small lids on both cuffs came off, and it revealed lots of thin cables all scrambled together. You picked the pliers and jumped out of your skin when the alarms blared through the room. They had found out, and you had to move now. 

You cut all the cables at once, and it sent a brief electric shock then repeated the process with the other cuff. Once that was out, you located one of the AC lids in the room. You opened the thing, hearing the shouts and approaching footsteps of many soldiers. As they entered the room, you slid into the vent and shut the lid behind you. You were facing the opening and saw their moving boots and heard their shouts through their radios. 

Sweat rolled down your brow as the seconds ticked by. Your whole body tensed every time they passed close by the vent entrance. You then closed your eyes and tried to focus on something else. There were many things to keep you distracted like trying to find where in the base were the cruelest enemies. But your mind was invaded by the only scenario that brought you peace. You being rescued by the Avengers, being finally found and taken somewhere safe away from Hydra. 

The footsteps left the room, and you strained your ears to make sure there was no one inside the room. Since there were no sounds, you quietly exited the vent. There was some rustling behind you, and your whole body froze. You could've sworn even your heart stopped beating as you looked at the guard looking for something inside one of his pockets. You moved quickly to hide behind one of the working benches, and the guard turned trace along with a cigarette and a lighter. After lighting the smoke, he felt your eyes on him and glanced your way. His eyes widened, and you were slowly grabbing a screwdriver from the floor. He then started laughing, puffing out the nicotine smoke. 

"Chto, chert voz'mi, ty tam delayesh'?" Your brows remained raised as you stood straight from your position. You had to improvise quickly. (What the fuck are you doing there?)

"Uh um," you laughed nervously, "Pytayus' pritvorit'sya, chto ya byl aktivom. Mozhet byt', my smozhem nayti yeye ... vot tak?" you smiled at the end like an idiot, hoping this would work and wondering why in the hell he hasn't reported you. (Trying to pretend that I was an asset. Maybe we can find her ... like that.)

He laughed instead and drew more from his smoke. 

"Ty psikh. Prikhodi, pokuri. Vse eto der'mo delayet menya nervnym." (You are crazy. Come have a smoke. All this shit makes me nervous.)

He offered you his cigarette, and you awkwardly moved towards him taking the smoke. You glanced at him, looking for approval, and he nodded calmly. You didn't quite know how to smoke, so you imitated him and ended up coughing. He laughed and took the smoke from you as you ended the coughing fit. 

His radio came to life, and he finished laughing to answer. 

"Net, nikakikh priznakov aktiva ne bylo. Nad" (No, there were no signs of an asset. Over.)

He puffed the smoke again and looked at you as they answered through the radio. 

"Skopirovano. Dayte nam znat', yesli uvidite yeye." (Copied. Let us know if you see her.)

His eyebrows knitted in confusion and your blood froze; you were already so confused. Y this encounter, and now he was looking at you confused. 

"U vas yest' chto-to zdes'" (You have something here.) He signaled his nose, and you wiped it, revealing blood.

Then the guard's eyes widened, and before his mouth could open, you punched his throat hard enough. He fell coughing and choking. It seems you have found something new. You then started undressing the guard and dressing him in your clothes. All the while, your heart was beating so loud, and you were trembling form all the adrenaline. You didn't want to be caught. Not when you have gotten so far. 

After dressing him and finishing dressing yourself, you dragged his body to the vent and shoved him in only leaving his legs out for everyone to see. Someone looking quick would think it was you trying to get into the vent.

You breathed once more, grabbing the guards gun and opening the door you walked hurriedly out of the room. Suddenly the radio on your shoulder came to life. 

"Soldier, what are you doing away from your post?" The accent thick through the lousy reception infused with static. You swear under your breath, lips trembling you were on the verge of tears. You cleared your throat and got in character. 

"Sir, the asset has been apprehended." You cleated your throat more harshly "She has been detained. I was looking for my superiors. Over" you cursed under your breath, surely they already knew it was you. 

"Units are on their way, make your way to the bay. We are covering all the exits," you breathed, "Soldier?"

"Yes?" 

"Look at the camera" you knew they wanted to trick you since they have deduced you knew all the possible camera. Honestly, you didn't know what was going on do you turned slowly. 

"Where, sir?" You asked carefully keeping your tone calm despite the nervousness and anxiety. The answer took a whole minute. 

"On your right corner," you obeyed. 

"You're cleared, proceed to the bay and await further instructions." 

You nodded towards the camera and turned to walk away. Out of the camera's range, you wiped your nose and kept walking hurriedly. 

Out on the distance, you spot the door leading to the bay, your designated spot, and exit. As you enter the area, a mild headache begins. You have to hurry. The bay looks like an old fashioned hangar sporting some jets, military jeeps, and SUVs. The place is also crawling with security, several soldiers sporting the same uniform as you. You move carefully and slowly through the masses of men, and no one notices you as you walk lowering your cap to hide your bloody nose. You know there's another door at the other side of this sea of men and if you manage to go through you would find the woods surrounding the base. So you tread lightly. 

"Hey," someone called out, and you knew it was for you, but you ignored it and acted normal walking still. "Hey, Schneider?" you stopped and looked down to your uniform to see the called last name sewn over where your heart is. It finally made you turned to see two soldiers smiling at you like they had found salvation or rather damnation. The thought made you smile, and you acted on. "Over here." 

You then searched your pocket for the smokes and the lighter and showed the items to them. They seemed to light up even more, and you nodded towards the exit door. 

"Hohoho, you dünnbrettbohrer, eh?" the man laughed followed by the other near him. You copied their laughs, and the three of you went for the door. 

You sneakily wiped your nose and opened the door at the same time. The action looked awkward, but no one dared say anything they only wanted the smokes. Once outside, you couldn't help but be entranced by the trees and the feel of fresh air caressing your face. For a second, the relaxing vibes almost made you lose the disguise. You then turned and gave the men their smokes, taking one for yourself and proceeded to light them all. They inhaled and puffed the smoke closing their eyes in bliss. When they opened, you punched them quickly, gaining momentum to knock them out completely. You lost the disguised and wiped the blood from your nose. 

The fact that you were nearly free, almost made you laugh. Tears threatened to spill, but you held them back, the mission wasn't over, and by now they probably were looking for whoever was wearing Schneider. 

You then ran into the woods, daring to go as deep as possible. The branches hit you full force, cutting your cheeks, but you kept on running. If you managed to find a civilized area, you could get means of traveling farther.


	11. Chapter 11

Night fell, you ignored your empty stomach's cramps and twists. You had to keep going no matter how much your legs burned and your cheeks stung from the fresh cuts. By now everyone was surely looking for you, and with their technology, there was no doubt someone would find you if you stood still. Movement equals surviving, and that was all you needed at the moment. The faint idea that there was probably a tracker inside of you never failed to further your anxiety. There was no time to check all of your scars for weird lumps or hard tissue, maybe later, you had to get to civilization fast. 

Concerned clouded your mind at the fact that the forest nightly sounds muddled out everything else. No matter how much you strained your ears for footsteps or engine hums, you couldn't hear more than the wind swaying the branches, crickets, the occasional howling, and the owl hoots. By this point either the paranoia would get to you or the exhaustion for using your newfound ability. You needed a place concealed enough to lay down for a couple of minutes and calm down. There too many variables, and the what-ifs were driving you crazy and making you unfocused. 

Visibility sucked, but you heard the flowing current of a river. The small thundering of the flowing and falling water should be enough to keep your heartbeat out of machines monitoring for it, and the coolness of the running stream should conceal your heat signature. You then headed into the water, and under the cascading current. At that point, the water reached your waist, the cold bit your skin underneath the clothes. It all felt like knives, but this should be like any other time in the room. You closed your eyes and waited for a moment trying to calm down, then your hand got brushed by something, and you bit your lips to stifle the yelp. There was something in the water with you. Now, self-conscious of the probably bad idea, you prayed to be spared of anything vicious. You felt the same thing brush by you and this time you knew it wasn't anything scaley or slimy which slimmed the chances to a mammal or maybe even a tortoise of some kind. Hydra didn't need you to know about zoology only the critical biology information: How to kill and survive from killing attempts. But judging by the animal's fluidity in the water and their relative medium size it had to be some kind of otter. And if it was an otter, then that meant there must be a small cave near.

Tentatively you stretched your hand backward and found the entrance to a medium size rock formation. You almost cried in relief and immediately climbed up into the hole. Once inside, you saw the reflecting eyes of the other otters. They hissed and growled defensively, and you turned to stone not moving to show you were not a threat. Still, they growled and hissed daring to come a couple of steps close to you making their threat clearer: you were not welcomed there. But the thing was, you had nowhere else to go, so you kept still and focused on breathing, pushing the hisses and small snarls to the back of your mind. Only eleven hours to dawn and then you could run a bit more. The bad point about this plan is that you didn't know if civilization was close by. The only option was to calm down and wait even if your lips and whole body trembled from the cold. The cave was actually a bit warm and dry if not by your soaping clothes, but they would keep your heat signature at a minimum, until dawn.

__~~~__

"You're telling me our mystery man just canceled our playdate?" Tony's tone was mocking, but there was some worry behind it. "Just like that? Out of the blue? Rude"

"What's next on the plan?" Rhodey, who recently arrived from a mission was standing close to Tony when FRIDAY had informed them, their plan to draw the mystery man out, failed inexplicably.

"Well, this calls out for a meeting, don't you think? FRIDAY call everyone in, family meeting." 

Tony was in his tower with Rhodey, they along with Pepper were the only ones in the building. The rest of the team stayed at the compound. 

"Sir, Director Fury is calling, should I put him through?" Tony and Rhodey exchanged glances both their brows knitted in confusion. But the call wasn't weird, Fury worked twenty-four/seven. 

"Sure" 

"Stark?" Fury's gruff voice came through. "Any progress on that winter soldier case?"

"Well, he bailed on our second date so not at the moment, why? you have some shining light for us?" Tony replied in a sarcastic tone while leaning against his desk.

"Sources are reporting some activity from the Hydra kind near Georgia. Send a team to check it out."

"Isn't that your area of expertise? Sending a team?" 

"You know why, Stark, now do me a favor and see to it." with that the call ended.

Tony huffed in annoyance. 

"FRIDAY postpone the family meeting and send a team, nothing big something concealable, down to Georgia. Transfer all the mission details to the compound and let me know what happens?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, caffeine wasn't enough to deal with all of this.

"Right away, sir" FRIDAY chirped. 

"Well, would you look at that seven hours until dawn, you want a coffee, some tea or green juice. It's just a mix of vegetables and fruits, nothing actually green. Except for broccoli and cucumbers and maybe some spinach. Okay, there are some green things but still-" he made a popping sound with his lips and licked them.

Rhodey snorted and stood with some difficulty. He then shook his head, laughing, "Come on, Tony, you need to sleep, or Pepper will have both our heads."

The two exited the room and went to the elevator, there ought to be a small mess for Pepper to clean in the morning. That was for sure.

__~~~__

Your eyes opened slowly. You didn't notice when you had fallen asleep, and that probably cost you the darkness of near dawn. Your huddled form still trembled, and the humidity didn't allow the clothes to dry properly. The otters seemed to have calmed down or left entirely, the cave seemed empty. Your muscles were strained, sleeping with your head resting on your knees while hugging them close wasn't the most comfortable position. But the situation was dire, there was no time for commodities, not that you ever had them, and the sudden realization of being brought back to the base sent a shiver up your spine. 

You exhaled and stretched in the available space; it was time to go back into the water. At first, the chill was horrifying, and it made you want to be back int the small cave, but once you reached civilization, you could change clothes and be as warm as you like. The thought gave you something to look after, and it motivated you to reach the shore. There was a chance they might find your footprints, so perhaps following the stream could lead you to a bridge and the water would conceal your prints. 

This plan would mean you will be exposed and defenseless, but it was the safest bet you had at the moment. You could also make a run for it, but there was a higher chance they'd hear you. Assuming they are close by. Your boots were flooded, socks, pants, shirt, and hair all soaked. The feeling was uncomfortable and annoying at most, but you knew sometime later it would help with the impending heat. 

Suddenly you heard the tweet of a bird and the crunch of leaves. You stopped, looked ahead, and strained your ears for anything else. Then it came the swift swish of a dart. You managed to block it with your metal arm and ran. 

Once you did, it was a chain reaction, as the soldiers came out of their hiding spots and started yelling orders. Some shot at you but you skillfully evaded each one. Your legs started burning, but you ignored it and pushed forward when you heard the humming and purring of motors. The soldiers relentlessly pursued you as you got closer to the sound. 

Two Avengers came out once the ramp descended and they took in their surroundings. The man that looked like you was descending down the ramp and your eyes lit up in hope, and you sprinted towards him. Then you stopped suddenly feeling the chilling prick of a dart hitting you on the right side of your throat. You took the dart out of your neck and stumbled towards their direction. It was shocking at first but determined you fought whatever substance there was. But before anyone could see you or hear you fall to the ground, Rumlow caught your form, hugging you from behind and shushing your whimpers as he dragged you into the trees.

"Don't worry, they didn't see you, it's okay, little sparrow, you're safe" he whispered gruffly in your ear, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he carried you away.


	12. Chapter 12

"I don't see anything. Are you sure we are the right spot, Barnes?"

"For the fifth time, Clint, yes." Barton rolled his eyes. "Search around see what you can find." 

"On it." 

Bucky swung his weapon on his back and looked around. His senses strained for anything: sound, smell, or something out place, that would give him a clue as to what happened. 

"Hey, Barnes?" Barton interrupted him, and he huffed lowly, he didn't know if he should laugh and give up

"Yes?" He smiled or something akin to it as if he was reminiscing the times he was this annoying to you. 

"I think I got something."

Bucky's expression darkened and sobered up. He approached Barton, who was crouching on the floor with something in between his index finger and thumb. It looked like a tiny metal cylinder in his palm, something used for cosmetics or the sort. He took it in his fingers and shook it, but nothing slushed or clinked inside. Then he pressed it slightly, and a thin needle came out from one of the ends. 

"I think this may not be your typical junkies' juice" Barton chirped in dusting his hands as he stood straight.

The needle had almost pricked Bucky's finger, and he pressed against making the thing retract. He put the item in his pocket and looked at the stream with newfound determination, that was the clue he was straining to find. 

"Let's follow the stream, I have a feeling there might be something else."

The pair continued down the forest, following the streaming water under the heat and humidity. They almost turned back. Until the roof of a building came into view in between the canopy of the trees. It was far away, but the metal structure glinted in the sun, making it unmistakable. Bucky and Clint exchanged a look, and they threw their weapons out. The walked further in, and the building stood in front of them like an omen. It was abandoned, not a soul lingered. If Hydra has been there, they had done an excellent job at hiding or a sloppy one at pretending. 

Bucky saw the way everything was left, and it suggested someone had used the facility. His muscles tensed, and the worst-case scenario came into his mind. They were still there waiting for them. He scared himself, his postured stiffened, and he threw breath in trying to calm down.

"They were here recently." 

"Maybe." Clint looked at the hangar "Let's go in. There has to be some info or leftovers." The man seemed unpreoccupied, in comparison to Bucky, carefree almost. It made Bucky think how he managed to do it so effortlessly. 

They entered the hangar, looking at the vehicles left behind, some had gathered rust, their doors opened slightly and almost falling off the hinges. Weapons raised and with caution they swept through the room. Bucky felt his ears ring as he reminisced his previous career.

"You good?" Clint's voice reached him through the anxiety.

"Yes," he answered unwaveringly, the thought of finding you rekindled his focus.

He renewed the search with enthusiasm, hoping to find you or at least something that suggested you were alive somewhere. All of the technology had been rendered useless; some were battered like they didn't care if someone knew they had been there; they didn't want the information getting out. Bucky touched the tables and scavenged for files or drives, but found nothing of interest: papers of what he already knew and had reported a while ago. It did bring memories, painful ones, and he tried to focus on you smiling at him for no reason. Just the warm memory of you being you, and loving him in your own way. 

"Hey Bucky," he lifted his gaze from the unintelligible scribbles on the paper in his hand. The pleasant fog lifted, and he dropped the small smile that had formed. 

Clint had used his name with a calm tone like the one you used on a scared child when you're about to break horrible news. It made him alert. "I think you should one and see this."

Clint was at the door frame with a solemn expression and Bucky's face twisted in confusion, but he followed the man nonetheless. They walked down the bleak corridors and reached a door. It was slightly ajar, and Clint nodded towards it, not even daring to touch it. Bucky glanced at Clint, and the man's eyes softened, he grabbed the edge and pulled it to open it slightly. The lights in the room flickered between on and off in an unsettling and nauseating matter. He entered, wary of the whole room, and his eyes landed on the cage in the middle of the room. It was similar to the one he had once been, and it made him gasp ever so lightly. Bucky approached the bars and entered the small confinement, his eyes fierce yet hiding the flickering embers of repressed fear. There wasn't much to search a rickety bed, with a thin mattress, a flimsy blanket and a decrepit toilet in the corner. But he noticed the blood on the sheets. It was fresh, not as dark as it could have been should the place been truly abandoned. 

"He was here" Bucky murmured, and Clint nodded leaning against the door frame. His arms crossed against his chest. 

"That's what I thought, and that's not all." 

Bucky looked at the man, and they both walked down another corridor and stopped at a copper-ish metal door. It looked heavy and out of place like it had been pulled out from an old submarine movie and somehow cemented in the wall. Bucky turned the round lock until the door hissed and clicked open. Clint then helped him pull it free. It was a small square room a bit bigger than a closet room but not big enough to be considered a room. It had a drain in the middle of it and tubes embedded in the four walls. Their tips protruded from the walls, and if the mold and shite marks were any indications, this room was filled with water repeatedly. Even the musty, humid smell gave it away.

"They filled it with water?" Bucky asked, utterly confused and repulsed at the same time. "Why?"

"Well, it depends. Notice how there are no windows or any light of any kind? It's an isolation room. For torture. The water just a bonus, depending on what or who you trapped in here." 

Bucky was disgusted and perturbed. He had been isolated as well, and he remembers the loneliness and the coldness. How time was irrelevant, and there was only darkness. The memory made him exit the room faster, and he held back the chilling shudder. 

"We can do a final sweep, but I think we know there's nothing here." Bucky nodded, still looking at the metal door. 

They looked around again and not once did his mind stopped thinking about the room and the cell. What if it had been you in there? What had they done? Was he too late? He shook his head, getting out of the rabbit hole and finished looking around. In the end, they came out empty except for the little needle in his pocket. He sighed when he met Clint on the outside. His hopes had been raised way too high, and now he was crashing hard. 

"We are coming back," he spoke in his comm. 

"Got it, waiting for you guys."

__~~~__

You panted, the cold was paralyzing, and you couldn't hold back trembling. They had hanged you from your wrists with leather cuffs that were burning your skin to the point where most of it was almost raw and bloody. This was one of the many methods they had for punishment; you always preferred the water room even if It was freezing cold. With time the water would eventually acclimate to you, and you wouldn't feel the biting cold. 

The gist of this one was to make you struggle while they whipped you sometimes or carved your sides. The inflictions were always minor and were never in areas where you would be exposed. You had to maintain your charade up; otherwise, no one would believe their propaganda. They always counted on your serum abilities to heal your wounds faster than most, but that didn't keep the pain at bay. 

"There's no need to whip her, we can't further damage the goods." Kraus' voice resounded around the small room. 

Kraus was the newest addition to your mental list of superiors. The man was the appearance of Hydra, in charge of politics and such publicity. While everything works in the shadows, he is supervising the results on the outside. Always making sure Hydra had the advertising they wanted and the approval, without knowing it was them. A skinny pale man, with bright auburn hair, he had an aura of command, but at the same time, he looked like a dog waiting to be commended for being good. He was currently in the room, overseeing the procedure. 

Kraus pulled out a knife and handed it to Rumlow "Let's be creative, carve the Hydra seal on her back. That way, she will never forget who she belongs to. And if necessary we can always carve it someplace else as well." His gloved hand caressed your stomach softly, but the touch held a foul promise. His tone had lowered, almost sultry and eyes shinning with hidden intent. 

"Please," you whispered, voice cracking.

"You plead so nicely." He chuckled and came to look into your eyes, "Don't worry little songbird. You won't remember much, but I'm sure the scars will remind you what happens when you fail." He turned to Rumlow, "Do carve it on her back; it may cover all the previous scarring and make sure it looks pretty. She only deserves the best." 

"Let's get started" Rumlow began to cut the back of your shirt open while someone in the room had led the needle of an old record player, making it crackle to life and play an old instrumental song. 

Rumlow had ripped a bit of your already ruined shirt and had tied it around your eyes blindfolding you. Your sense heightened at the blindness, and you could faintly hear the heartbeats of those closest to you, could smell the pungent scent of chemicals and humidity. When the tip of the knife made its first cut, you quickly exhaled and inhaled through your mouth trying to mask the whimpers. The blade had been sharpened recently. You felt the sting before pain bloomed and boomed according to the rhythm of your heart. The sensation was horrible. The knife cutting into you as if it were a brush making graceful strokes on a canvas. 

Kraus was in a corner near the door, his black overcoat folded in his arms as he watched the scene unfold with a sardonic smirk. He was quite joyous that morning as he exited the room. He put on his coat; his hands pretended to lead the orchestra on, their instruments masking the sounds of your whimpers and screams. They echoed through the hallway, and the lights started flickering, sparks emanating from the flimsy lights and falling all around the hall, but Kraus just kept walking with a smile and eyes closed. He enjoyed the contrast of the sparks and could almost swear they flew in rhythm to the music he pretended to lead. He then disappeared around the corner and left the building entirely. There were other matters to address as well.

An hour passed, you had been hanging for quite a while, blood coated your entire back and seeped into your pants and underwear. It was thick, and at least it kept you warm from the bitter cold of the room. Rumlow had stopped carving; now you knew why he had blindfolded you. He had removed his mask, stating he could hear you better without it, he then kissed your temple and your tears, claiming to have finished the masterpiece. You shuddered when his scarred lips touched your skin, eyes closed, you were breathing hard and trying to calm down before you started to hyperventilate. The music had resumed after being static and scraping while you resisted the pain. No doubt the lights had been flickering as well. You could tell when Rumlow patted the wound and hushed you, trying to calm you down saying he couldn't work if he couldn't see. That moment had you gagging with your saliva, coughing and sputtering. 

The click of a camera was heard, he had taken a picture and was proud of his work.

"Beautiful. Now everyone will know who you belong to. Is cliche if you ask me…but I'm not the boss and no one's asking." He took off your blindfold, and you saw his mask was on again.

You could barely keep your eyes open, they were puffy and bloodshot from all the crying and screaming. With the fabric he wiped a bit of blood that had trickled down your nose, the act made you flinch and almost recoil. "You took it so well, little songbird. Take her to the room, let her soak for…" at the mention your eyes widened, but he ignored you, directing his orders to the other soldier in the room while he glanced at an imaginary watch "twenty minutes, keep the water to her ankles." He grabbed your face in his hands, and you leaned into the warmth of his hand. He had taken his gloves off "After that, we'll come to get you and then you won't remember this even happen, doesn't that sound good?" He made you nod, "I know, baby." 

They untied the cuffs, your wrists raw and bruised. You had been in that position for long, and now it made your muscles cramp. You whimpered, huffing as they took your arms in their hands. Between Rumlow and the other soldier, they carried you to the room and let you sit down leaning against the wall. Rumlow kissed your forehead through his mask and closed the door on his way out. The skin on your back screamed at the pressure of the wall against it. But the moment the water poured inside the room you had laid on the floor, your cuffs were damaged, and without them, you could feel the relief of the water. The freezing was better than the searing throbbing on your back, it felt nice, and you laid there with your hands on your sides. You quickly learned that moral, refusal, and being in contact with your conscience always led to mishaps, wipes, and punishments that could have been avoided. They wanted nothing more than an upgraded yet exact replica of the soldier, and that's what they were molding you into. Ever since that politician Kraus came into the picture and Zola's apparent return, your regimen has been more strict, and the punishments had worsened. Even if Dr. Hugo didn't want this to happen to you, the more barbaric people took pleasure in molding you and pulling your strings. The two newest additions had, now, control over you, they could pull and push you wherever they wanted. But you weren't made to think, only take orders and be him. So you laid into the coldness and enjoyed the feeling as the blood emanated from you and gave the clear water red tendrils coming from you.


End file.
